Movie Review – Noah (2014)
My Tagline: Transformers meets Lord Of The Rings Meets Fantasy.
Plot: A man is chosen by his world’s creator to undertake a momentous mission before an apocalyptic flood cleanses the world.
Review: I wanted to see this movie for some time, and now that I have, I can only summarize that 1% of the movie is based on the Book of Genesis and the rest is fictitious crap. The film is very loosely based on the Flood origins, of that Noah with his wife and sons build an ark with the assistance of “Watchers”. In a world so corrupt that everyone (including Noah and his clan) must die.
Let me get onto the point of the “watchers” here for a second before I go on. The film depicts that these “watchers” were cast out of Heaven because they “helped” humanity. Now, I may not know the exact events that went down in Heaven when the “watchers” were kicked out, but I have read enough of scripture to know that the “watchers” (fallen angels) were anything but a bunch of ‘goodie-two-shoes’. (For reference read The Revelation Of John). Yes, there were giants in the land, but not what the film makes out. (See Genesis 6:4)
Methuselah – Supposedly he could interpret dreams and had a stash of Jack’s magic beans (Jack And The Beanstalk). There was one flashback part of Methuselah with the flaming sword. While the biblical account of Genesis does mention such a sword, the one who had possession of it was the Angel who guarded the gates of Eden. The sole job of that Angel was to prevent anyone getting back into the Garden to eat of the Tree Of Life. So for a human to come in the possession of that sword is highly unlikely.
Noah was a righteous man who walked faithfully with God. God spoke to Noah directly, not via Methuselah and certainly not by a hallucination. In the book of Genesis, it does give a clear indication of what transpired. In the account of Noah, each one of his sons had their own wife. However, in this film adaptation, only Shem has a wife. Another major plothole.
There were so many things wrong with this movie and completely inaccurate to what the Bible says what happened. While the acting was well done by Crowe, Watson, and Connelly, and the Flood scene was good, the rest of the film was a outright insult and a shipwreck of Titanic proportions.
Verdict: Save yourself the trouble and watch a Cecil B. DeMille classic instead.
My Rating: 3 out of 10 (1 point for each of the main actors)