Daily Archives: July 22, 2021
Posted by authorcamilson
Dragon(e) Baby Gone
(Reports from the Department of Intangible Assets Book 1)
by Robert Gainey
GENRE: Mystery Fantasy
Diane Morris is part of the thin line separating a happy, mundane world from all of the horrors of the anomalous. Her federal agency is underfunded, understaffed, and misunderstood, and she’d rather transfer to the boring safety of Logistics than remain a field agent. When a troupe of international thieves make off with a pair of dragon eggs, Diane has no choice but to ally with a demon against the forces looking to leave her city a smoldering crater. Facing down rogue wizards, fiery elementals, and crazed gunmen, it’s a race against time to get the precious cargo back before the dragon wakes up and unleashes hell.
Modern times gave way to a general idea that reason and logic were enough to stop something from dragging you into the sewers and wearing your skin to protect itself from daylight. It’s easy to see why: it doesn’t happen to a lot of people, therefore it must not happen. I see it all the time, people who say things like “I’ve never seen a ghost, so they must not exist.”
Oh yeah? Because if spirits did exist, they’d all be tripping over their ghost dicks to haunt you? Do you understand the preternatural forces that conspire, the circumstances that line up, to create any kind of ghost? Let alone one that shows up in your room at night and moans about revenge or betrayal or rattles some chains and teaches you a valuable lesson about being selfish?
“Well, there’s no such thing as Bigfoot. All those pictures are super blurry and grainy,” they say, their voices nasally and snobby, like all the knowledge of the world is pumped directly into their tiny brains through their tiny phones. Go stand out in a remote Colorado forest one night. Turn off your phone, open your eyes and ears, and wait. When you feel those eyes watching, and when you know, deep in that primitive monkey brain, way, way down inside, that there’s more than just the animals you have names for sharing that clearing with you, then you can call me to tell me that there’s no such thing as Bigfoot.
That is, if you live to turn your phone back on again.
AUTHOR Bio and Links:
Robert Gainey is a born and raised Floridian, despite his best efforts. While enrolled at Florida State University and studying English (a language spoken on a small island near Europe), Robert began volunteering for the campus medical response team, opening up a great new passion in his life. Following graduation, he pursued further training through paramedic and firefighting programs, going on to become a full time professional firefighter in the State of Florida. He currently lives and works in Northeast Florida with his wife and dogs, who make sure he gets walked regularly. Robert writes near-fetched fantasy novels inspired by the madness and courage found in everyday events.
One randomly chosen winner via rafflecopter will win a $50 Amazon/BN.com gift card.
Interview With …
What is something you’ve lied about?
I once told my wife I was going up into town to try and find a piece of specialty wood for a desk I was building. There are a couple sawmills who stock stuff like magnolia, white oak, cypress, that sort of thing, so it was a plausible lie, and I’d been talking about building this desk for a few months. This was during the pandemic lockdown, so my wife was working from home, so she’d have noticed me missing from the house for four or five hours, and I needed a good excuse. About two hours in, I had to call and make up some story about the first place not having anything I wanted, so I was going to have to drive further out to another and see what they had.
The truth was, I actually drove to an animal rescue in Jessup, Georgia to get a puppy for my wife. She’d never suspected for a second I’d been anything less than truthful, so when I walked in with Magnus it was worth every mile just to see the look on her beautiful face.
Who is the last person you hugged?
My wife, naturally. As long as I’ve got arms, that’ll always be the last person I’ve hugged at the end of every day.
What are you reading now?
I’m branching out into a genre I don’t normally get into, reading Helen C. Johannes’ Lord of Druemarwin. I’m also in the process of reading Germs: Biological Weapons and America’s Secret War by Judith Miller, but that’s at the fire station so I only read it every third day.
How do you come up with the titles to your books?
I’m a big fan of puns and wordplay. I find something memorable, something funny, something that I’d look at and say, “Huh, I’ll give that a try.”
Share your dream cast for your book.
It’s funny you should ask, since my wife and I just discussed this a few days ago. It may seem like a kind of vanity project, but we did slap together something resembling a casting call.
Diane – Aya Cash
Archades – Josh Brolin
LaFleur – Lance Reddick
Sadie – Gwendoline Christie
Jericho (voice only) – Chris O’Dowd
I’m happy to field phone calls from any of them. No need to be shy.
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