Author Archives: authorcamilson
VBT – Jay Got Married
Jay Got Married
by James Robinson Jr.
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GENRE: Non-Fiction Humor
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BLURB:
Jay Got Married consists of 9 humorous and, at times, poignant essays chronicling the ironies of everyday life in word and picture. Take for example the lead essay, aptly titled, “Jay got Married,” where I find myself mired in a horrendous dream.
In the fantasy, my aging father–dressed in his favorite Champion t-shirt with stains covering the front–marries my wife and I like he did 42 years ago but, this time around, the my 92-year-old ex-clergy dad forgets his lines causing me to coach him through the event with hints like: “ask for the rings, ask for the rings.” All the while, my best man sings Sonny and Cher’s, “I Got You Babe.”
Finally married, my wife and I end the ceremony with a kiss. But as I turn to exit, my eyes catch a glimpse of the bridesmaid who is no longer my wife’s best friend but now Gal Gadot from Dell Comics and Wonder Woman Fame. She is dressed in full Wonder Women regalia and looks totally shocked by the whole affair.
My mother turns to my father (now in the audience) with a quizzical look and says, “Dad, look at that bridesmaid. Isn’t that Superman?” She doesn’t get out much.
As we exit the church, and the bubbles fill the air–no one uses rice anymore—my wife ignores the limo and takes off on a sleek motorcycle, leaving me in the lurch—hence the cover.
Sure, it’s sounds crazy. But, in truth, isn’t the world of marriage crazy these days? In my case, what would one do when faced with the prospect of losing their beloved wife after 42 years? At age 67, would they remarry? Would they even want to remarry? These and other marital tidbits are discussed with humor and as much reverence as I could muster.
P.S. The author pairs up with Wonder Woman again in a final bit of photo wizardry Why? How? How are tricky copyright infringement laws avoided? Read Jay Got Married and find out.
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EXCERPT
You’re like, “What’s the big deal? Sure, it’s a sad thing, but don’t be too hasty. People fill that void in their lives all the time. It can happen. Sure, you’ve lost someone near and dear to you. But you could get over it. Even at your age. Time heals all wounds.” (Boy, you could’ve done better than that.) “People are living longer now. You’ll have more time to think this through. I see couples remarrying in their 70s and 80s.”
And I say, “While that may be true, I have to ask myself how I could find someone after a tragic death, when married people can’t seem to decide who they want while they’re both still among the living. I see people divorce and remarry two, three, four, and even five times. Amongst the marital shrapnel, some have their next spouses all picked out before the split.
Switch partners in the middle of a dance four or five times? Really? After a few shots at it, I would have to practice a little self-examination. I think I’d ask myself, “Am I missing something? Shouldn’t I be wondering if a pattern is developing?” Before I jump a fifth set of bristles, I’d be thinking, Why do I keep marrying people and divorcing them? Could it be… could it be… could it be… me?
Well, the difference is, you can count these cast-offs in the still among the living category. You can always figure on those exes to be around to torture for alimony, child support, and just general purposes. But once they’re gone, you’d have to feel some kind of grief. Even if you only see their name in the obituary and suck your teeth.
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AUTHOR Bio and Links:
James Robinson, Jr. is an award-wining author who has written 6 books in both the fiction and non-fiction genres. His first book Fighting the Effects of Gravity: A Bittersweet Journey Into Middle Life, was an Indie Award winner for nonfiction. His first foray into fiction, Book of Samuel, was a Readers’ Favorite Award Winner. His latest book—Jay Got Married—is a collection of 9 humorous, sometimes poignant essays.
Mr. Robinson resides in Pittsburgh, PA with his wife of 43 years. He is the father of three daughters ages 37, 38, and 40 and has six grandchildren
Amazon Author Page: https://www.amazon.com/James-Robinson-Jr./e/B0074O0QLI%3Fref=dbs_a_mng_rwt_scns_share
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/JamesJRobinsonJr/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/jamesrobinsonj1
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GIVEAWAY INFORMATION and RAFFLECOPTER CODE:
James Robinson Jr. will be awarding a $25 Amazon or Barnes and Noble GC to a randomly drawn winner via rafflecopter during the tour.
Enter to win a $25 Amazon/BN GC – a Rafflecopter giveaway
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James, thanks for being my guest. Tell us about you as a person.
I was born in 1952 and endured the tempestuous 60’s which included flower power, Black Power, the death of Martin Luther King, Jr., and Joan Baez music. I recently wrote a book about my father’s (a minister’s) life which included his exploits as a civil rights advocate during the sixties. Attended Carnegie Mellon University (an English major in an Engineering College, go figure).
If you could hang out with one famous person for one day, who would it be and why?
Ryan Reynolds. He seems like an interesting guy with a good sense of humor. #2—Gal Godot of Wonder Woman fame. No, I don’t care how hot she is; I need a picture with her for my book. Read it—or zip through the Jay Got Married Essay—and you’ll see why.
What’s the story behind your latest book?
Jay Got Married is a collection of 9 humorous essays told in a tongue-in-cheek style. The book centers around my views on life sometimes touching upon real-life issues. I find that essays are the best vehicle for me because I can tell one story at a time.
What is your writing process?
Oddly enough, I took a psych course in college where I remember the professor saying that you shouldn’t listen to the TV or radio because they are distracting—they are, in fact, in business to get your attention. So the best thing to do is to use some kind of white noise (they didn’t use that term way back then) like a fan or something similar. So a fan serves me best. Once I began to have children and grandchildren, however, my concentration has improved greatly, I am much better at blocking out noise. I still can’t compete with Metallica.
Tell us about your main character.
N/A But in a book of essays where I rely on personal experiences, my friends, family, and casual acquaintances are the main characters. My wife wasn’t very happy at all to be a main character.
If your book was to be turned into a movie, who would play the lead role and why?
If anyone turned this book into a movie they would need to be institutionalized. But I would have to play the lead; I’m the only one crazy enough.
What are you working on next?
I’m working on a sequel to my first book, Fighting the Effects of Gravity: One Man’s Journey Into Middle Life. I was middle aged when I wrote that book but now, I’m 67 and staring into the face of old age. The new book is tentatively titled: Old Age Sucks.
What advice do you have for other writers who want to get the word out about their book?
I always use promotions like KND (Kindle Nation Daily) and blog tours. KND promotions are great for a one-day blitz. Unfortunately, your sales numbers will take a precipitous drop the next day. There are blog tours that are very good for obtaining 7-8 reviews but aren’t meant to sell books. In theory, authors are supposed to twitter but I hate to do that. Libraries will also allow authors to use their facility to hold lectures and they will even post signs for upcoming author events.
What is your favorite book on your shelf right now?
Kurt Vonnegut’s Breakfast of Champions.
Do you have any special/extraordinary talents?
No, and thanks for making me feel insignificant.
You are given the choice of one superpower. What superpower would you have and why?
Sing like John Legend. I don’t want to fly and it seems like a superpower to me.
List 5 things on your bucket list:
- Learn how to play piano to impress my family and friends.
- Learn how to fly. Not like Superman. Fly a plane.
- Test drive the new, mid-engine Corvette
- Sell 100,000 books
- Take vacations in Hilton Head Island, SC like we used to before we started taking care of my 90-year-old parents.
Any final thoughts?
Buy my book; I’m poor.
Book Blast – HEROES IN LOVE
This post is part of a virtual book tour organized by Goddess Fish Promotions. Click on the tour banner to see the other stops on the tour.
NOT EVERY HERO WEARS A UNIFORM
Can love last a lifetime? Billy Walsh and Daniel Richards never intended to be matchmakers. After all, they’re only at the start of their own love story. When Billy uncovers a failed love affair, he learns it lasted more than fifty years until it fell apart. He and Daniel see their own fledgling relationship through the lens of the now estranged couple, and they vow to reunite the elderly lovers. But as they set about their task, the pressure of modern life threatens to tear them apart.
Read an Excerpt
Billy was nearly an hour late when he finally rushed down Fulham Road and into the entrance of the Royal Marsden hospital where he ran into a black haired, brown-eyed vision of masculinity. Literally ran into. Publicly crashed into a stunning man wearing a white fitted t-shirt, a linen suit, tan loafers, and stood tall like a catwalk model. Too late Billy skidded to a halt, and into the arms of the handsome stranger.
“I’m so sorry,” Billy blurted out.
The vision of masculinity reached forward and grabbed his shoulders to stop him from falling.
“No problem.” The man looked directly at Billy and held on to his shoulders for a moment or so longer than was probably necessary.
Billy wanted to crawl away and hide in a corner. He had never considered himself a cool guy. The roles he played in soap operas as a sensitive-looking young man with an apologetic, hesitant manner were in truth no more than an extension of his own personality. He was uncomfortable in large social gatherings, and preferred his own company.
But this man with wavy black hair, deep brown eyes, and strong arms was someone he would dearly like to spend more time with. Billy struggled to find a witty phrase, a bright piece of banter to rescue the moment.
“Sure.”
Sure? Billy shook his head at the crassness of his response. The man smiled, dropped his arms, and strode off.
Shit.
About the Author: David C Dawson writes contemporary thrillers featuring gay men in love. He’s an award winning author, journalist and documentary maker. His debut novel won Bronze for Best Mystery and Suspense in the FAPA awards, and he has published two books since.
David lives in London with his boyfriend and two cats. In his spare time, he tours Europe and sings with the London Gay Men’s Chorus.
Social Media:
Website: www.davidcdawson.co.uk
Blog: http://blog.davidcdawson.co.uk/#home
Instagram https://www.instagram.com/davidcdawsonwriter/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/david.c.dawson.5
Twitter: https://twitter.com/david_c_dawson
Pinterest: www.pinterest.co.uk/mrdcdawson/heroes-in-love-influences/
Linkedin: www.linkedin.com/in/DavidCDawson
Buy Link:
Boroughs Press: http://boroughspublishinggroup.com/books/heroes-love
https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B083QRQ319
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B083QRQ319
https://www.amazon.com.au/dp/B083QRQ319
https://www.amazon.ca/dp/B083QRQ319
https://books2read.com/u/3G28pL
https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/999639
David C. Dawson will be awarding $10 Boroughs Bucks to a randomly drawn winner via rafflecopter during the tour.
VBT – THE BILLIONAIRE’S BOARD
This post is part of a virtual book tour organized by Goddess Fish Promotions. Click on the tour banner to see the other stops on the tour.
When Remi Stone is promoted to director at Icor Tech by the INSANELY HOT, chiseled, PERFECT 10 CEO, the last thing she expected was for chaos to ensue. Boy—she should have been more prepared.
Who would have ever thought that being 23.7 hours early for a meeting would ever lead to a series of life-changing events that would see me influencing the course of a billion-dollar corporation—but I’m getting ahead of myself. Let’s go back to the day AFTER my time-anxiety induced early bird mishap.
You see, I went into Icor Tech’s boardroom to present at the quarterly ‘Innovation Meeting,’ completely unprepared for all the enemies I was about to make. The board itself—and all the directors!
But that’s exactly what happened when the handsome, aloof, BILLIONAIRE CEO, Gabriel Icor himself, promoted me to director at 23 with NO FLIPPING WARNING!
Now, I have a bunch of seasoned board members thinking I’m an ‘upstart’ mouse. A bunch of employees angry their careers plateaued well before mine. And two insanely hot, crazy-successful, competitive, and ever charming businessmen courting me.
Oh, and get this—I’ve never so much as been on a date before.
What’s a girl to do? Well, I’ll tell you one thing that’s never advisable…
Accidentally blurting out you’re not wearing panties.
Read an Excerpt
“You really got yourself a brain, didn’t you?”
I look up from my computer, a little surprised to see Analise in the room staring at me. Her arms are crossed over the chest. She’s upset.
“I know some things, I suppose.”
“Oh, don’t you shrug it off. You know what I’m talking about.”
I sit back in my chair, jaw clenched, trying to figure out why the hell she’s upset.
“You don’t like Remi, I take it?”
“I didn’t say that.”
“Well, something about her bugs you.”
Analise saunters around my desk, taking a seat next to the keyboard, looking down at me through her long, dramatic lashes.
“How well do you even know her?” she asks.
“Why does that matter?”
“Well, let me show you this.” Analise turns to my computer, bringing up a web browser. She types in a few keystrokes and brings up Match, the dating site.
“Looksie.”
I look at the screen at an awkwardly innocent Remi sitting next to an elderly woman holding crochet hooks.
“Jesus Christ, who the fuck puts up such a—”
“Someone who hasn’t so much as been on a date before, that’s who.”
I blink, then give a hearty chuckle. “Wait, are you saying—”
“That Remi Stone is a bonafide between the sheet vegetarian? Yes, I am.”
“Wait? What?”
“Get with the program, Gabe. It ain’t just Meatless Mondays for this girl.”
I swallow, and to my horror, suddenly that sugary sweet picture with her dear sweet old grandma is leaving my pants tight.
“Won’t be for long, though.”
My stomach churns. “Boyfriend?”
“No, Tom.”
“She’s seeing Tom?”
“God, Gabe, how can you be so oblivious? Were we spying in on the same board meeting? Did you see how he greeted her? Did you see how he paraded her around the room like she was his damn arm candy?”
Oh shit!
I have a way of overlooking these things, especially when my mind is focused on saving Icor Tech. Tom has a reputation for being a ladies’ man, but it had always been an ‘off the clock’ sort of thing. Dating someone from the office is just plain stupid, and fucking them—is even dumber.
“Can we keep her?” Analise pouts.
About the Author:
Lark Anderson was raised near Syracuse, New York. She joined the USAF at 19 as a Flight Manager and eventually discharged in pursuit of a college degree, eventually achieving her MBA. Since her years in the Air Force, she has worked as a Claims Manager, a Business Analyst, an Editor, and a Web Page Designer, filling several roles, such as Fraud Investigator, Auditor, Graphic Designer, and Marketer. Lark’s passion for writing manifested in elementary school, but she waited until she was in her 20’s to pursue her passion. Now, she writes and assists other authors in fulfilling their dreams full time. Lark’s interests are broad. She likes her fantasy dark and her romance steamy! She plays Magic: the Gathering and LOVES going to cons and interacting with fellow geeks.
Currently, she is writing contemporary romance and is in contract negotiation to develop a sitcom she has been working on.
Twitter: https://twitter.com/mims_words
Twitter: https://twitter.com/lark_anderson
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mimsthewords/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/LarkAndersonAuthor/
Webpage: https://larkandersonbooks.net
Link to subscribe to Newsletter: https://larkandersonbooks.net/subscribe/
Amazon Author Central: https://www.amazon.com/Lark-Anderson/e/B07VVMCXCP?
The book is on sale for $0.99.
Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07ZQMYKC9
Lark Anderson will be awarding a $10 Amazon or Barnes and Noble GC to three randomly drawn winners via rafflecopter during the tour.
VBT – THE SWEET PEPPER CAJUN
This post is part of a virtual book tour organized by Goddess Fish Promotions. Click on the tour banner to see the other stops on the tour.
Treat yourself to an exceptional value! Kindle Price just $2.49! Great New recipes from that Southern Soulful Magnolia Table. Recipes for all your festive occasions! The Holidays are almost here! It’s time for Great Food, Fantastic Family Gatherings with our Best Friends!
Enjoy Southern Cornbread Dressing with your turkey, ham roast, beef, roast beef or vegan New Year’s Good Luck Long Noodle Cajun Pasta this year! Those recipes and more are here! Grab your copy today!
*************From soups, sandwiches, salads, and of course the main course, to cakes, made famous by Mamma and her friends, with recipes Mamma got from Grandmamma.
Here you’ll find recipes for welcoming family and friends into your home whether they cornered you by just dropping by or they were invited. Make all their visits more pleasurable with recipes from the heart. Here you’ll find not just recipes for lunch, brunch, and Feasts from Thanksgiving to New Year’s, but quick easy make-ahead sides and appetizers. It’s that time of the season to cook from the heart with love. Inside you’ll find breakfast favorites, and complete dinner menus, plus taste-tempting decadent desserts that aim to please.
Book is $2.49 on Kindle
Read an Excerpt
It’s Time For Family & Friends!
♥
Come join us, grab a seat, fill a bowl, and take a taste of our scrumptious food. We believe food is our common ground and in flavor do we trust!
Any Season!
♥
There’s an old saying… “Good friends are so very hard to find, and I’m am so grateful that you are mine.” This is for you… All of my friends. Thank you.
*************
Cajun Lima Bean & Okra Soup
Ingredients:
•1 medium green pepper, chopped
•1 medium onion, chopped
•1/4 teaspoon whole cloves
•1 tablespoon butter
•3 cups vegetable broth
•3 cups chopped tomatoes
•2-1/2 cups sliced fresh or frozen okra, thawed
•1 cup frozen Lima beans, thawed
•1/2 cup fresh or frozen corn, thawed
•1/2 to 1 teaspoon Slap Ya Mamma Cajun seasoning salt
•1/4 to 1/2 teaspoon ground allspice
•1/4 teaspoon pepper
•1/8 teaspoon cayenne pepper to taste *optional
Directions:
•In a large saucepan, sauté the green pepper, onion and cloves in butter until vegetables are tender. Discard cloves.
•Stir in the remaining Ingredients. Bring to a boil. Reduce heat; cover and simmer for 15-20 minutes or until beans are tender.
About the Author:
J.A. Jackson is the pseudonym for an author, who loves to write deliciously sultry adult romantic, suspenseful, entertaining novels with a unique twist. She lives in an enchanted little house she calls home in the Northern California foothills.
She spent over ten years working in the non-profit sector where she wrote grants, press releases and contributed many stories to their newsletter. She was their Newsletter editor for over ten years. She loves growing roses, a good pot of hot tea, chocolate, magical stories, suspense stories, ghost stories, and reading Jane Austen again and again in her past time.
Please write her at P.O. Box 1494, Clovis, CA 93613
Email Address: jerreecejackson@gmail.com or jerreecejackson@yahoo.com
Social Media:
• Twitter: https://twitter.com/jerreece
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Jerreece-Ann-Jackson/204377496289139
• Blog: http://jerreeceannjackson.blogspot.com
• Author Central: https://www.amazon.com/author/jajackson
• Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/jerreece1/boards/
Buy Link: https://www.amazon.com/Sweet-Pepper-Cajun-Soulful-Cookbook-ebook/dp/B0813YJ9S1/
J. A. Jackson will be awarding a $15 Amazon/BN GC to a randomly drawn winner via rafflecopter during the tour and a Kindle ebook copy of her cookbook to 8 randomly selected winners.
Book Blast – DRAGON MIST
This post is part of a virtual book tour organized by Goddess Fish Promotions. Click on the tour banner to see the other stops on the tour.
As the third daughter of a third daughter, dragon-shifter Christine Drachen must mate with a human.
Not all human males are genetically compatible with dragon shifters, and suitable matches are rare in old Charleston. Christine, though, has identified James to be an appropriate match. Even humans who acknowledge the possibility of dragons cannot believe that one can be both a dragon and a human, shifting between the two. As a result, Christine must attract James without fully revealing her true, shifting nature until he has committed to mate.
James gradually discovers what Christine is. She shows him the gold dragon she always wears around her neck. He notices the prints, statues, and tapestries of dragons that decorate her family’s home. Strange noises emanate from behind the Drachens’ house during a party, and James believes he actually sees a dragon, one wearing a necklace like Christine’s. Christine’s last name, Drachen, means “dragon,” and, while she jokes her entire family is composed of the creatures, James begins to suspect there is more to what she says than a simple attempt at humor.
Finally, though, he sees her shift.
To protect their species from persecution, dragon-shifters silence any human who sees one of them shift, and the most practical method is generally death. The rule is absolute. But Christine has fallen in love with James. How can she protect her family without killing the boy she loves?
Dragon Mist is a story of boy-meets-girl, with a few non-human characters, high stakes, a bit of magic, a little humor, and an abundance of romance.
Read an Excerpt
As Bing struggles for release, I inspect him like an insect under a microscope. Then I growl and I bare my teeth.
“Help me. Help me. Oh God, help me.”
I had never noticed Bing to be particularly religious, but his prayer sounds more sincere than most of those I’d heard intoned in church.
Truly, nothing other than God can save him now because, at this point, my human self has lost control.
Five claws project from each of my hands, two sets of five blades, each as sharp as a diamond saw, able to cut through any substance. I raise my right hand and pause as my eyes make a final pass down his body. Bing’s shriek surely frightens ghosts in the nearby cemetery.
God elects not to intervene, and my right hand sweeps across Bing’s legs, both the right and left splintering as my claw passes through each in turn. My hand falls like a guillotine, twice, and his arms snap off. Finally, not certain he is dead, and not wanting him to linger, I strike the side of his neck, each claw passing through in turn. His body falls to the ground, covering his other parts, and I drop his head on top.
I feel as if I am still standing far out in the Bay, watching as someone else cuts Bing into pieces. His limbs fall to earth, blood covers them and pools on the ground.
I feel as if I’m viewing a horror movie, the type of motion picture that draws teenagers by the score. They stream into the theater and watch monsters, human or otherwise, murder and mayhem, blood and gore. The girls scream and hide their eyes, burying their heads in their boyfriends’ arms, but they peek so they miss none of the action, comforted by the knowledge it is all make-believe.
But Bing’s death is not make-believe, and I find myself a foot away, gazing down at him, my hand covered in his blood.
My head swivels as I check for witnesses. As Bing had died, screams had ricocheted across the park. But no one has appeared. They must lie behind trees and crouch behind shrubs.
What kind of people are these? No one ventured out when I screamed for help. No one rushed to save Bing when he cried in terror. I ought to scour the area and dispatch all of them.
I search, but I find no one…
There.
A single man stands at the payphone under the streetlight at the edge of the park. I take a step in his direction and his squeal breaks the silence. He gestures wildly, pointing toward me, as if the person to whom he speaks can follow his visual directions. He no doubt has called the police, and I must weigh the danger of having my presence reported and the attack described by a group of acid-heads against the time it will take for a search-and-destroy mission and the possibility I will be seen by a surviving, credible witness.
My eyes narrow, I’ll take them all, starting with the one I see. I can cover the distance in five seconds, I think as I take two quick steps.
Then, human rationality reasserts itself.
I need to protect myself, and I opt to allow the witnesses to live, confident their reports will be written off as drug-induced hallucinations.
About the Author:
I live near Charleston, South Carolina, where I walk the beaches, eat fresh seafood, and photograph the ocean, the birds, and the beautiful sunsets. Seven of my nine novels have been set in Charleston, but Dragon Mist is the first to explore the lives of the non-human residents of the “holy city.”
Find more of my work on my website! http://www.burnettsbooks.com/books-by-david.php
Sign up for my newsletter. https://www.subscribepage.com/j4c1o6
Twitter: https://twitter.com/DavdBurnett
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DavidBurnett.Author/
Amazon Author Page: http://www.amazon.com/David-Burnett//e/B0092SDNXM
Goodreads Author Page: http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/6579272.David_Burnett
David will be awarding a dragon pendant similar to the one worn by Christine Drachen in Dragon Mist (US only) to a randomly drawn winner via Rafflecopter.
Book Blast – RETALIATION
This post is part of a virtual book tour organized by Goddess Fish Promotions. Click on the tour banner to see the other stops on the tour.
Sakota saved Astraeus and her friends from certain death, but in doing so, she gained the attention of the Oreck, who will stop at nothing to destroy everything in their path. With their ship severely damaged, Sakota and her crew land on a nearby planet and seek sanctuary while they make repairs to return home. But nothing on this perfect planet is as it appears, and Sakota soon learns they’ve traded one danger for another. Hunted and targeted, will Sakota be able to carry out her mission, or will everyone she cares about be destroyed?
Read an Excerpt
“No .”
Sakota bolted up in bed in the middle of the night.
Her dreams of blood and fear were monopolized with pointed teeth, cartilaginous faces, long, double-jointed arms and legs, and cruel, black alien eyes. The Oreck. They haunted her, perpetual alien God-ghosts with their eerie, electromagnetic glow beneath papery, gray skin.
Beside her, Astraeus slept, his arm flopped over the groove in the bed where she’d lain as he held her. He stirred, frowning. Was he having a nightmare too? She reached her hand out and searched with her emotions, as she’d learned to do.
He tossed, fitful, in the clutches of a nightmare to do with Upsilon’s destruction. She couldn’t remember what her nightmare had been about, but it had ended violently. Peace, she sent silently. Tranquility . Calm . Rest .
Astraeus sighed in his sleep, relaxed, and rolled over. She feathered hair out of his face. His existence had blown her away, and it still did. Astraeus’s genetic code far outstripped her own. He had defense mechanisms in place to protect him from climate extremities that she could never even dream of having. But more so, for the first time in her life, she’d fallen in love. It went against her pragmatic nature, but his comforting presence anchored her amid the wreckage.
She scrubbed her face with her hand in the darkness and swung her legs over the side of the levitating bed, careful of the bed’s height when she stood.
Humans were either a lot shorter than most of the visiting interplanetary delegates, or for some strange reason, they liked their beds high.
Her limbs ached, fatigue from the action of the last several days. She suspected healing from microgravity had something to do with it too, but she’d been through the wringer. The way she walked, the weight of her lips when she spoke, her arm and leg muscles seemed heavier and more visceral, like someone had injected them with a heavy drug. Ridiculous, of course. She was in the best shape of her life.
In the center of the room, she stretched and did some yoga until the tightness lessened. She rotated her neck. In a day or two, the slight dizziness and disoriented inertia would subside. As a physician, she knew the symptoms. She’d be fine. But telling a patient about them versus experiencing them were two different things.
She padded barefoot out onto the balcony, drew a silver cup from the shelves, and dipped it into the fountain. Distant light illuminated the Chuleron buildings along the skyline in the distance. She brought the brim of the cup to her lips and drank. Cool and refreshing, much cleaner than the sterilized water she’d had back on Earth. Tastier too. Earth water had to be purified at least five times before it could be considered healthy enough for consumption. Bacterial pathogens ran rampant in food and the polluted streams and springs back home, so sterilizing was essential. The delightful coolness soothed her throat.
She twisted her hair and pulled it over her right shoulder, taking in the strange, tantalizing city. Did her suspicions about this place come from her subconscious, because of the death and violence she’d experienced? Or was Hisoka right and something seemed off?
About the Author:
Haley Cavanagh is a military veteran, wife, and mother. She is an alumna of Columbia College, a musical theater nut, and she loves to dive into any book that crosses her path. Haley resides with her family in the United States and enjoys spending time with her husband and children when she’s not writing. She loves to hear from her readers, and encourages you to contact her via her website and social media.
Website: http://www.haleycavanaghbooks.com
Newsletter: https://haleycavanaghbooks.com/vip-readers-group/
Bookbub: https://www.bookbub.com/profile/1769243778
Twitter: https://twitter.com/haley_cavanagh
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/haleycavanaghbooks/
Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/ambitioushales/
Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/42207961-astraeus
Buy Links:
Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B082MB9VPV/
Barnes and Noble: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/retaliation-haley-cavanagh/1135488266
iTunes: https://books.apple.com/us/book/retaliation/id1491106031
Kobo: https://www.kobo.com/us/en/ebook/retaliation-20
The author is also running a separate giveaway to celebrate the release of the book Enter here for a chance to win a $25 Amazon Gift Card and Autographed Paperback/Swag Bundle (ends January 15).
The author will award a $10 Amazon/BN GC to a randomly drawn winner via Rafflecopter.
VBT – ONCE UPON A TIME, BITCHES
Once Upon a Time Bitches
by Branden LaNette
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GENRE: Self-help
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BLURB:
That’s Branden on the cover. Yes, she has a boy’s name, a Mom bod, and her tattoos are not photoshopped. She doesn’t look like your typical author and she sure doesn’t look like the next self-help Instagram sweetheart.
However, besides being a wife, mom to six kids (plus others with fur), coach and business owner, Branden is the author of the new book, Once Upon a Time, Bitches. It’s a fast paced, in your face, expletive laced, nothing held back message to women everywhere: There is no magic fairytale, but if YOU work at it enough you can come pretty close to creating your version with a happily ever after.
But first, no more whining and no more damsel locked in a tower, bullsh*t. Is it possible to design a fairytale life? Control your destiny? Be the hero in your story? Branden thinks there is and she wants to help you.
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EXCERPT
Ever since I was 8 years old, I dreamed of an easy life. The problem with my dream? I expected that fairytale life to be handed to me. And when it wasn’t, I decided that fairytales were bullsh*t. Not that you can’t have a fairytale life—you can. What I understand now, however, is that to get a fairytale life, you’d better be willing to work your Cinderella-ass off for it.
Still, I held on to the fantasy of having an easy life handed to me. I wanted to be saved. To be specific, I thought I needed a guy to be my hero. So I went about trying to find one.
I dated a lot of guys. Lots of guys.
But as they came and went, I always ended up disappointed. Not a single one of them ever made my life easier. Things weren’t going the way I’d planned. WTF? Hadn’t anyone read the f-ing script? It was right there on page 43:
“Tall handsome guy with tight ass, great pecs and a 124-foot yacht named “Sh*tload of Cash” enters stage-left and sweeps Branden off her feet, and they sail off to Barbados.”
Even in my adult years, I would find myself just wishing—not just for prince charming to appear (which he eventually did in the form of my husband, minus the yacht and gobs of cash) but wishing for things in every area of my life. Even today, in my writing/coaching career, I find myself drifting into wish-mode: Why isn’t this easier? Why can’t things just take off and grow overnight? Is it always going to be this hard?
And when it comes to parenting, it’s the same thing. Why can’t parenting just be easy? And in my marriage, too: Why do I have to keep asking for things? Can’t my husband just read my f-ing mind?
One day I—still 8 years old—had the most terror-filled realization in a simple yet profound truth:
No one is coming to save you.
F**k. No one is coming to rescue me. Ever?
My heart broke. More like shattered. Yet, after taking some time to mentally digest this fact, I found this realization liberating somehow. Why was this liberating? Because it meant I could stop waiting for something outside myself for my salvation.
It put me in control. Newsflash, bitches: No one is coming to save you, either. Get it? No. One. Is. Coming. You’re going to have to save yourself.
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AUTHOR Bio and Links:
Branden LaNette doesn’t look like a typical author but she has long ignored what she “should” do, say and look like. On her own at a very young age, Branden eventually found herself with the wrong guy, the wrong job, and a bleak future. The fairytale she was promised as a child never materialized.
Finally, Branden decided that she wanted something different for her life, and realized no one was going to do it for her. Prince charming wasn’t coming to save her—she’d have to save herself.
Step by step, decision by decision, through major trials and tribulations that would stop most people in their tracks, Branden learned how to turn heartbreak into happiness and self-judgement into inner joy.
Today, Branden LaNette is an entrepreneur, coach, speaker, wife, and stay-at-home Mom to six C-section babies (ages 1-16) and way too many f-ing pets. Somehow, however, she manages to juggle all of this effortlessly (a blatant lie) while pushing her way through the kinds of fear and self-doubts that whisper within all of us (totally true) to achieve her goals. Her most recent dream come true is this book, one that is destined to have a major impact on millions of women across the globe (or at least nine people in Michigan.)
Through it all, she has found her happiness, her joy, and more importantly, her voice.
Contact Info:
Website: BrandenLanette.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Branden.Lanette
Twitter: @Branden_Lanette
Instagram:@@Brandenlanettel
Hashtags: #OnceUponaTimeBitches #OUATB
Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Once-Upon-Time-Bitches-Fairytale/dp/1947814869/
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RAFFLECOPTER GIVEAWAY
Branden LaNette will be awarding a $50 Amazon or Barnes and Noble GC to a randomly drawn winner via rafflecopter during the tour.
Enter to win a $50 Amazon/BN GC – a Rafflecopter giveaway
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Thanks for being here today. Tell us about you as a person.
If I had to sum up what makes me, me… it would be my strong rebellious streak. Just when I get put in one category, I flip the switch to make sure I don’t fit in there at all. I thrive on not belonging. I find comfort in being alone with myself in a quiet room. I live for those moments outside of the chaos that normally defines me. I like walking to the beat of my own drum, I like taking the Long Road and secretly I get strength from learning things the hard way, so I do this on purpose.
If you could hang out with one famous person for one day, who would it be and why?
If I could hang out with someone famous for a whole day, it would definitely be “Deadpool.” He is my spirit animal.
What’s the story behind your latest book?
Once Upon a Time, Bitches happened because of the personal journey I was experiencing. I wondered how many people could relate to what I was experiencing. Wishing, hoping, just wanting things to be easier and not fully excepting that you just have to be better. I wanted to empower women to save themselves and stop looking for answers in other places and other people.
What is your writing process?
Currently, my writing process is escaping the family and getting a hotel room and pumping out as many pages as I can in the course of a few days. Music isn’t the priority, I really am a fan of a quiet room. However, there are times that I need to get out of my own head and escape into the words I’m writing and music does that for me. I can listen to anything from country to death metal, 80s rap probably being my favorite.
If your book was to be turned into a movie, who would play the lead role and why.
I love this question because it makes me think of my dad. His favorite actress is Jennifer Aniston. That’s the only reason I would want her to play me, as a tribute to him.
What are you working on next?
I have some personal development training currently released in a test group, so I’m hoping to have that launched publicly soon! Of course the second part to Once Upon a Time, Bitches is also coming in 2020. My mind is constantly moving around how to make it bigger and better.
What advice do you have for other writers who want to get the word out about their book?
Network, network, network. Show up at places that hold your readers, don’t be afraid to promote yourself, if you can’t share and brag about what you’re doing, how would you expect anyone else to?
What is your favorite book on your shelf right now?
My favorite book is, The Secret. My current favorite read right now, because I’m finding I have blocks on financial issues, is Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill. I will take one book and just submerse myself into it for weeks at a time, audio, I read it, I take notes. It’s my secret power.
Do you have any special/extraordinary talents?
You know what’s really f**king cool about me? I’m super good at anything I choose to be good at. I spent some time decorating cakes for people. Like, really f**king awesome cakes. it was a hobby that I moved on from, but I was really good at it. I’m a psycho super speed reader. I also write as fast as I can read. I also make a really pretty babies! It’s probably easier to talk about the things I’m not good at. Like, live videos or public speaking hahahha!
You are given the choice of one super power. What super power would you have and why?
If I had any superpower, it would be that I could travel and manipulate time. I really love being pregnant and having babies, just that whole nurturing spirit in my soul craves having an infant in my arms, babies grow so fast. I want to rewind time and just experience the kids I have now all over again.
List 5 things on your bucket list:
My bucket list:
- I want to take my kids on a world tour of REAL history.
- I want a TV show.
- I want to be on the New York Times bestseller list with every book I write…
- I want to publish a fiction book.
- I want to tour with Tony Robbins.
Not in that order. haha.
VBT – Jay Got Married
About the Book
Title: Jay Got Married
Author: James Robinson Jr.
Genre: Non-Fiction Humor
Jay Got Married consists of 9 humorous and, at times, poignant essays chronicling the ironies of everyday life in word and picture. Take for example the lead essay, aptly titled, “Jay got Married,” where I find myself mired in a horrendous dream.
In the fantasy, my aging father–dressed in his favorite Champion t-shirt with stains covering the front–marries my wife and I like he did 42 years ago but, this time around, the my 92-year-old ex-clergy dad forgets his lines causing me to coach him through the event with hints like: “ask for the rings, ask for the rings.” All the while, my best man sings Sonny and Cher’s, “I Got You Babe.”
Finally married, my wife and I end the ceremony with a kiss. But as I turn to exit, my eyes catch a glimpse of the bridesmaid who is no longer my wife’s best friend but now Gal Gadot from Dell Comics and Wonder Woman Fame. She is dressed in full Wonder Women regalia and looks totally shocked by the whole affair.
My mother turns to my father (now in the audience) with a quizzical look and says, “Dad, look at that bridesmaid. Isn’t that Superman?” She doesn’t get out much.
As we exit the church, and the bubbles fill the air–no one uses rice anymore—my wife ignores the limo and takes off on a sleek motorcycle, leaving me in the lurch—hence the cover.
Sure, it’s sounds crazy. But, in truth, isn’t the world of marriage crazy these days? In my case, what would one do when faced with the prospect of losing their beloved wife after 42 years? At age 67, would they remarry? Would they even want to remarry? These and other marital tidbits are discussed with humor and as much reverence as I could muster.
P.S. The author pairs up with Wonder Woman again in a final bit of photo wizardry Why? How? How are tricky copyright infringement laws avoided? Read Jay Got Married and find out.
Links
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jjrobinsonjr_author/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/jamesjr3?ref=bookmarks
Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/James-Robinson-Jr/e/B0074O0QLI/ref=dp_byline_cont_book_1
Get “Jay Got Married” from Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1687046670/ref=dbs_a_def_rwt_bibl_vppi_i3
EXCERPT
CELEBRITY
Because We Need to Know
Who’s living with whom, who’s breaking up with whom, who’s having sex with whom? In the scheme of things, do we really need to know? Does the public really have the right to hear about the intimate details of the lives of the rich and famous? Well, guess what! You’re damned right, we do. It’s called celebrity. And they say that’s what famous people have signed up for. They may not have realized they were making a pact with the devil when they scribbled their name on the dotted line (You see, their eyes were all blurry with the prospect of fame and fortune.), but that’s what they did.
Had they read the small print, they would’ve seen the following:
“The public, including all the losers, bozos, Walmart dwellers…”
“…and sociopaths, whom I never would’ve come within ten feet of prior to success, will have all rights and privileges to my family, property, belongings, and garbage, should they choose to go through it.”
Translation: “Any member of the creepy public, as well as the paparazzi and my adoring fans, can get all in my shit any damn time they please, without so much as a Hello.”
I’ve never attained celebrity status, but I often wonder what it’s like. They say everyone gets their 15 minutes of fame, but frankly, that isn’t nearly enough. It could be wasted on some real bullshit. It could come when you happen to witness some “exciting” event. You may find yourself in the middle of a holdup or carjacking.
“Oh, look, there’s Sharon!” friends and family might say, as they watch the evening news. “They’re interviewing her about that drug bust over on Carson Street. Guess that was her 15 minutes. That’s it for her. Boy, that sucks.”
Sharon would reply, “Wait, that didn’t count! I want another chance!”
I’ve fantasized about my name being a household word. Remember when Kim Kardashian flashed that $4,000,000 ring on social media, alerting every criminal in the free world to the fact that it was there for the taking? Well, when she was gagged, tied up, and robbed in her French hotel room, celebrity status lost a bit of its luster for me. Kim thought her life was over and was shaken up for a long time. But it’s all a part of the superstar experience. And for me, the charm quickly reappeared when I found out that she is worth $100 million.
Sometimes I like the idea of fans approaching me and asking me for autographs or for photos with them. You know, these days, those in the cellphone generation ask celebrities for selfies. Such a request would make me feel good for the moment—the thought that these people like me enough to approach me and ask for my name on a piece of paper or to record my picture on an iPhone.
As an author, I have written my name on the inside covers of my books when asked, but it’s not the same thing. Being recognized and summoned for a signature is attention based on fame and notoriety, which is quite different.
Sometimes rock stars, rappers, and other music artists are asked by crazed female fans to sign their body parts. “Here,” a young girl might say, pulling down her top, “sign my breast.” I’ll never be asked to do that. But if it were to happen, and I did it, my wife would shove a dagger through my heart.
“James,” she would say. “Have you been signing women’s breasts?” I might gather the strength to nod. “I hate to do this, but…”
She would regret it afterwards.
