Category Archives: Movie Reviews
Plot: In an attempt to rectify their criminal past, a once successful Hollywood starlet, turned prostitute, and a petty, misogynistic thief, set out together to solve a high profile child abduction case in San Francisco.
Tagline: Zelda has some baggage.
Review: I admit I got about as far as Najarra and Tom sitting in the cafe and her chowing down like there’s no tomorrow. That was enough to tell me this film was absolute rubbish and a waste of time and money. I give this a zero out of 100, it was that bad.
Verdict: Cheesy, predictable, failed to rise to any occasion.
Director: Joe Homokay
Writer: Lizze Gordon
Stars: Lizze Gordon, Gabrielle Romanello, Megan Medellin
Plot: A group of privileged high school kids run an illicit chat room where they livestream their drug fueled sex parties to paying viewers on the internet. Little do they know there’s a murderous zealot on a mission to rid the internet of sin.
Review: I managed all of 10 minutes before I had to stop watching this monstrosity of amateur softcare wanna-be porn film. Budget must have had a grand scale of ten dollars as none of these people could act to save their lives.
Don’t waste your time on this one.
My Rating: 0/10
Avengers Grimm: Time Wars (2018)
Stars: Lauren Parkinson, Elizabeth Eileen, Marah Fairclough, Christina Licciardi, Michael Marcel,
Director: Maximilian Elfeldt
Writer: Jeremy M. Inman (screenplay)
Plot: Unhappy being ruler of the Underworld, Rumpelstiltskin frees himself and goes into hiding, making plans to take over Earth once and for all. As the Avengers Grimm fight to stop him, they quickly discover it’s not where Rumpelstiltskin is hiding, but when, forcing our heroes to fight through the ages.
Review: Every writer knows that the first rule of being a writer is read over your own work, then edit and change as necessary. However, in the case of this film, I do think that the writer and director missed a lot.
I wonder if the writer and the director got together for a basic script read and wondered to themselves, “Do we or don’t we?”
This is one of those scenarios where they should have reviewed the script and diced it completely.
Where can I begin? The acting was lame, the Director was obviously asleep at the wheel, and I cannot image how in hell this POC got funded. Then again, this “Masterpiece of crap” does come from the gang at The Asylum, so what else can we expect….
I know that this was released to “try” and capitalize on Avengers: Infinity War, but .. Well, what can I say here? Maybe they should have stopped with the first installment, rather than carry on the charade of bad acting and bad directing.
Verdict: No. Not just no, but, Hell No!
Rating: 1 out of 10
Director: Nick Lyon
Writers: Jacob Cooney (screenplay), Brandon Trenz (screenplay)
Stars: Joey Lawrence, Maryse Mizanin, Todd Cattell
Plot: A military squad is sent to a deserted island in the Pacific Ocean in order to secure top secret records involving a zombie epidemic that wiped out the large scientific team experimenting with various test chemicals and toxins which leads to the team battling not only zombies, but the lone surviving scientist who has plans for the future of the human race.
Tagline: They’re more than dead!
My Tagline: Hmmmm…
Review: I love a good zombie flick as much as the next person. With some actors like Joey Lawrence (Blossom), (Brotherly Love), one would expect the acting performance to be a lot better. although there are some scenes in here which bend the norm of all zombie flicks (such as the Z Vs Z Fight Scene), this film did not reach the expectations that it could have done.
To be frank, the film reminded me of much of the game play on Dead Island series.
Make Up effects were good, which is saying something. The acting could have been a lot better. But overall, a film I may watch again.
IMDB Rating: 5.3
My Rating: 6.5
5th Passenger (2018)
Director: Scotty Baker
Writers: Scotty Baker, Morgan Lariah | 1 more credit »
Stars: Doug Jones, Marina Sirtis, Mindy Robinson, Tim Russ, Armin Shimerman, Doug Jones, Hana Hatae, Morgan Lariah
Storyline: The year: 2151. In the aftermath of an oppressive class war, Miller, a pregnant officer aboard an escape pod must struggle to survive with her remaining crew when a mysterious and vicious life form attacks, determined to become the dominant species.
Review: For anyone familiar with the Star Trek Universe, you will notice a lot of names in this film, like Marina Sirtis (Star Trek TNG), Tim Russ (Star Trek Voyager), Armin Shimerma (DS9).
While it does seem that half of the Star Trek Alumni banded together in yet another sci-fi film not related to Star Trek, the idea behind this film was simple enough to band together some great talent in a movie that was below grade.
The storyline is simple and has been done a few times before. A pregnant crew member is found on an escape pod and through VR Memory Clips, we see what happened to the rest of her crew, or at least, what you think happened to the crew. In the recount of her mind, each member of the crew is systematically killed off one by one by a bad version of a CGI spider.
But, was the crew really killed off by an alien spider, or is the mind of Eve Miller more diabolical than one can expect?
That, folks, is something you got to find out for yourself.
This film was obviously a low budget, but despite that, there were some good performances from the former Star Trek gang.
IMDB Rating: 3.4
My Rating: 6
Director: Steve Taylor
Writers: Steve Taylor, Rahul Chatterjee
Stars: Wade Sullivan, Cynthia Calvert, Felissa Rose
A geology field trip into the remote Bear Claw wilderness area turns into a nightmare for a group of college students as they find themselves prey to a viscous man-beast the locals call The Shadow of Death.
Review: Nothing to see here. Literally, there is nothing to see here in this film. Normally I will give a low/no budget film the benefit of the doubt and will try to watch to the very end. But this film I could only get as far as 15 minutes then turned it off, it was that bad. 9 minutes in before the opening credits start to roll. Before this, a podcaster with a clock ticking so loud to the point it was distracting. The effects were horrid and the acting was very one dimensional.
There is a reason why the full movie is up on YouTube.
IMDB Rating: 4.5
My Rating: Minus 10.
Stars: Gina Vitori, Andrew J Katers, Samantha Bowling, Evan Sloan, Shawn McConnell, Lindsay Sawyer, Val Victa, Jordan Williams, Kate Watson, John Wusah, Tammy Klein. Written by: Nick Zephyrin
Directed by: James H. Thomas
Tagline: Archaeology just got badass!
Plot: Archaeologist, Alabama Channing, is recruited by a mysterious billionaire to help find an ancient Chinese relic. The same treasure that her mother was in search of before she went missing.
Review: This movie has terrible acting and of course rips off movies such as Tomb Raider, Indiana Jones, and several others. There is really not much I can say that is positive about this film. Clearly low budget, SPX were not all that great, and characters were very two dimensional. While the idea itself was good, it failed to deliver any real surprises. If you are expecting a film as good as “Tomb Raider”, then think again.
IMDB Rating: 2.3
My Rating: 1.
Get Out (2017)
A young African-American visits his white girlfriend’s parents for the weekend, where his simmering uneasiness about their reception of him eventually reaches a boiling point.
Plot: Chris and his girlfriend Rose go upstate to visit her parents for the weekend. At first, Chris reads the family’s overly accommodating behavior as nervous attempts to deal with their daughter’s interracial relationship, but as the weekend progresses, a series of increasingly disturbing discoveries lead him to a truth that he never could have imagined.
Review: Sometimes I get to watch a movie that is sinister right from the start, and this film makes no difference.
Tagline: Just because you’re invited, doesn’t mean you’re welcome.
My Tagline: Guess who’se for dinner!
Get Out is the story of a young interracial couple, Chris Washington (Daniel Kaluuya) and Rose Armitage (Allison Williams), meeting her parents for the first time. By all counts, her parents have no idea that Chris is black. They appear to be friendly and progressive, if not awkward, but everything at their upstate house is not what it seems.
Done in a style that I would put in “true Hitchcock”, Jordan Peele wrote and directed this horror/thriller flick. While Jordan is no stranger to world of film (49 credits as an actor, going back to 2006), this was his first shot at directing a feature film. I will say that his directing debut certainly made the grade.
Imagine this: You go with your girlfriend to meet the folks at their country house. Soon after you arrive, you think you are seeing ghosts, but you are not. People brush off your instincts, and leave you wondering if you are going insane. You know you got to get out of the house and head back to the city, but you cannot leave. Everyone has it in for you, and are “bidding” on your body in a family game of “bingo”. Your girlfriend is the only way out of the madhouse, but then you discover that she is in on the scheme too.
What scheme does Rose and the rest of the Armitage family have in mind for Chris Washington?
That folks, I am not saying. You just need to watch this film for yourself and see the thriller unfold.
IMDB Rating: 7.7
My Rating: 9