Plot: Earth has been conquered by robots from a distant galaxy. survivors are confined to their houses and must wear electronic implants, risking incineration by robot sentries if they venture outside.
Review: “After eleven days the Robots from space took over Earth, three years later a group of youngsters figure out a way to fight back”.
The back story of this British sci-fi family film was summarized at the very beginning. “Three years ago… the Robots invaded Earth.” “The war lasted just eleven days.” Then a robotic being with an adult female face and a little boy’s body declares that they mean Earth no harm… After their study of humanity, they will leave and never come back. They only have one strict rule for the earthlings to follow during their occupation: “Stay indoors!”
The idea for the film had its merits but also a lot of plot holes. The major fault I found was if they came here to “Study” humanity (they must have been exchange students lol), why start an all-out war? Why disintegrate anyone who even ventures outside of their front door?
With the likes of Sir Ben Kingsley and Gillian Anderson starring in this film, even they could not save this from what it could have been. Maybe they should have enlisted Dr. Who to save humanity from these campy robots.
If you have seen this film and think that it is similar to Falling Skies… Then you are right 🙂
Verdict: Watch Falling Skies instead
Rating: 4 out of 10
Avengers Grimm (2015)
Stars: Casper Van Dien, Rileah Vanderbilt, Milynn Sarley, Lauren Parkinson, Marah Fairclough, Lou Ferrigno
Plot: When Rumpelstiltskin destroys the Magic Mirror and escapes to the modern world, the four princesses of “Once Upon a Time”-Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, Snow White, and Rapunzel-are sucked through the portal too. Well-trained and endowed with magical powers, the four women must fight Rumpelstiltskin and his army of thralls before he enslaves everyone on Earth.
Review: Avengers Grimm…. At first thought, one can be forgiven to think that this film would be some kind of crossover between the Avengers Movies and the TV show Grimm.
At least that is what I thought, until I started watching this.
Casper Van Dien stars as the main villain, Rumpelstiltskin. To cut a very long story short, he transports himself and Snow White (Lauren Parkinson) through the magic mirror to the modern world and ends up being the mayor of some city, with everyone under his spell… Hmmm.. Along for the chase through time is Rapunzel (Rileah Vanderbilt), Cinderella (Milynn Sarley) and Sleeping Beauty (Marah Fairclough) . They team up with Red Riding Hood to defeat Rump and his legion of slaves.
Interesting concept for a movie. I will say the title and movie poster was more appealing than the actual movie, hence why after 30 minutes of this I switched it off. I can only imagine the number of outtakes this film has, with each of the actors trying to take their role seriously. 🙂
As far as B-Grade flicks go, this was okay, but there are better B flicks to see.
Verdict: A Grimm movie indeed! 🙂
My Rating: 5 out of 10
Plot: Epic adventure Exodus: Gods and Kings is the story of one man’s daring courage to take on the might of an empire. Using state of the art visual effects and 3D immersion, Scott brings new life to the story of the defiant leader Moses as he rises up against the Egyptian Pharaoh Ramses, setting 600,000 slaves on a monumental journey of escape from Egypt and its terrifying cycle of deadly plagues.
Review: I have been waiting for this one for some time now, and when I finally got a chance to watch it, I was appalled by how Ridley Scott portrayed the epic story of the Hebrew exodus from Egypt.
I will say that the one good thing about this film was the cinematography and SPX. For that Mr Scott gets a bug thumbs up. Everything else…. Hmmm.. Only way to describe this film is by the following list, which I shall call: The Exodus According To Ridley Scott.
1. Instead of the whole interaction between God and Moses (as told in the MASTERPIECE The Ten Commandments), God (I AM) is portrayed as a young boy, while Moses is sinking in a mud pool
2. Ramses… The actor who played this should have looked to Yul Brynner for inspiration, as this guy’s performance was as enthralling and charismatic as a wet sponge.
3. The Plagues.. We all know the story here. Before a plague begins, Moses goes before Ramses and tells him to let the Hebrew people go. Ramses refuses, then a plague hits.. Not in this version however.
4. The Ten Commandments.. Some will know that it was the Hand Of God that wrote the Ten Commandments, and it was given to Moses to take to the people. In this version? Moses is in a cave, carving away the Commandments while the great I AM is serving him tea.
5. The Ark Of The Covenant. Everyone knows that the Ark Of The Covenant was gold plated, adorned with golden cherubim above the Ark. In this version? The sacred Ark is a wooden chest tucked into a woven basket.
6. Moses going into Canann? I don’t think so.
7. No parting of the Red Sea.
8. The Nile was turned into blood by Moses. In this version, it was the result of a mass of crocs.
9. There is more inconsistencies here but I will spare you from that
The only thing EPIC about this one was how historically inaccurate this EPIC piece of trash this movie was. Although the SPX were good, the rest of this was a waste of time.
Lord forbid if Hollywood directors decide to do a remake of the classic film, Gone With The Wind. No doubt if they do, they’ll end up calling it Gone With The Tornado.
Verdict: Save your time and watch The Ten Commandments.
Rating: 1 out of 10
Plot: Follow the lives of Viago (Taika Waititi), Deacon (Jonathan Brugh), and Vladislav (Jemaine Clement) – three flatmates who are just trying to get by and overcome life’s obstacles-like being immortal vampires who must feast on human blood. Hundreds of years old, the vampires are finding that beyond sunlight catastrophes, hitting the main artery, and not being able to get a sense of their wardrobe without a reflection-modern society has them struggling with the mundane like paying rent, keeping up with the chore wheel, trying to get into nightclubs, and overcoming flatmate conflicts.
Quick Review: This mockumentary is about four vampires sharing a flat together. If you think that the vampire theme has reached it’s limit, you need to rethink your life 🙂
Taika Waititi and Jermaine Clement lead a great cast of Kiwi actors who play a small group of bloodsuckers living in a flat together in Wellington. When a freshly turned bloodsucker starts bragging about his new-found vampire status, things start going wrong for the gang.
There is no shortage of laughs in this film. and keep watch for the hilarious confrontation between the gang of misfit vamps and the swear-wolves… err I mean werewolves lol
If you love great mockumentaries, then you will love this.
Verdict: Still a better love story than Twilight lol
Rating: 9 out of 10
Plot: On the occasion of his fifth wedding anniversary, Nick Dunne reports that his wife, Amy, has gone missing. Under pressure from the police and a growing media frenzy, Nick’s portrait of a blissful union begins to crumble. Soon his lies, deceits and strange behavior have everyone asking the same dark question: Did Nick Dunne kill his wife?
Review: Gone Girl starts out with Amy Dunne (Rosamund Pike) faking her own murder and tries to frame her husband for it. For whatever reasons, it was not absolutely clear, other than apparently during their entire marriage she was playing the type of wife Nick Dunne (Ben Affleck) wanted her to be.
What follows is a media circus as Nick is hounded by the tabloids and made to look like a real schmuck, while his psychotic wife is in hiding with a bucketload of cash…
That is until part of her plan comes undone and she is robbed by trailer park trash, and not having any backup plan (silly woman), she turns to an old flame, Desi Collins (Neil Patrick Harris) for help… Of course, since he still has the hots for her after all these years, (much to her disgust), her safe haven at his lake house soon turns to an obsession.
One would think here she would take what valuables she could load in a car and flee. But does she? No. Instead, she fakes being raped, and after killing Desi, she drives home, covered in blood, to the arms of her husband.
There are a few things in this that didn’t line up. Firstly, her disguise was an obvious fail, as the trailer park trash saw through her charade and took her money. Then, her alleged repeated rape as Desi’s home didn’t line up with the security footage. And finally the story she told police made no sense at all.
Nick – after being made a public spectacle of – takes her in and makes the decision to remain with her. After all her bullshit; After being made Public Enemy Number One on national TV; After discovering the truth of her failed plans, he allows her back into his life.
Anyone with half a brain would have kicked her ass to the kerb, or at least packed their bag and left themselves. But, Nick stays.. and why? Because of “Reasons”, which included the wealth that came with her “lifetime” movie of the week deal, among others….
This was a good film, if it wasn’t for the inconsistencies. The ending could have been better of they did a revamp of the ending scenes from “War Of The Roses“.
Verdict: War Of The Roses This Aint.
My Rating: 7.3 out of 10
Plot: A group of space criminals must work together to stop the fanatical villain Ronan the Accuser from destroying the galaxy.
Review: If you’re looking for a fun action movie with some extremely colorful characters, then this is the movie for you 🙂
The film starts off with introducing us to Peter Quill (Pratt), a human abducted from Earth as a child. Years later, Peter becomes an intergalactic thief who has no idea what he’s getting into when he takes possession of a mysterious Orb. Little does he know that Ronan (Pace) will do just about anything to get his hands on the Orb, including sending alien assassin Gamora (Saldana) after it.
There are twists and turns aplenty in this film, and stars an incredible line-up of talent from such actors as Bradley Cooper (Voice of Rocket), Vin Diesel (Voice of Groot), Karen Gillian (as Nebula), Dave Bautista (as Drax the Destroyer), Lee Pace (as Ronan The Accuser), and Michael Rooker (as Yondu Udonta).
It is great to see Dave Bautista get more of a speaking role this time around, and as I think I may have mentioned before, he is a WWE actor to keep an eye on. I have no doubt that he will climb the ranks of Hollywood, and become a powerhouse action film star like Dwayne Johnson (The Rock).
This time around, Bautista take on more of a hero-in-waiting role, and has a few hilarious one-liners to boot 🙂
Marvel have really outdone themselves this time with a film that will appeal to the old and young alike. Although Avengers and Thor was good in their own right, GOTG was by far, a better release. The acting was nicely timed, the mix of action and comedy was just right, and not to forget Karen Gillan who showed another side to her acting abilities, and why she will probably never be forgotten as the one of the better companions of The Doctor (Dr Who).
The casting team has brought together just the right mix of talented actors in this film, and who could forget the antics of Michael Rooker (You may remember him as Merle from The Walking Dead). 🙂
This is one my personal favorite films for 2014.
Verdict: A Sequel Is Needed 🙂
My Rating: 8 out 10.
Plot: As his kingdom is being threatened by the Turks, young prince Vlad Tepes must become a monster feared by his own kingdom in order to obtain the power needed to protect his own family, and the families of his kingdom.
Review: When I watched this, my first thought was “finally, a vampire flick without the nonsense“.
What can I say about this film? The action was great. The acting by Luke Evans (Vlad), Sarah Gadon (Mirena), and Charles Dance (Master Vampire), was outstanding. Dracula Untold certainly did not disappoint with all the cool vampire abilities you would expect to see without the glitterati 🙂
In every Dracula movie, there are things you expect from the legend. Drinking of blood, the ability to transform into bats, the sense of a human trapped inside a dark prince, wrestling with his own convictions to keep his people free…..
Of course, if you know your history, you will know that Dracula Untold is very loosely based on the real life accounts of Vlad The Impaler. For those who don’t want a history lesson, you can scroll down to the trailer now…..
If you’re on the same page as me, you will know that the real Dracula did drink blood, but in a different manner. It is told that he dipped chunks of bread into buckets of blood that were drained from the people he killed. He was also known to invite guests to his mansion on occasions, provide them with a feast, then have them impaled right there at the dinner table. With the bodies still draped over the stakes, he would finish his own dinner at leisure.
From a historic POV, you may pull this film to pieces and point out all the inaccuracies, but if you are looking for a well told action film, with a ton of SPX and blood-gushing, and getting back to good old Vampire story-telling the way Vampires are meant to be, then this is one film you have to watch.
Verdict: Since your teeth into this one!
My Rating: 8 out of 10.
Plot: 33 years after the infamous Rendlesham Forest UFO incident, three metal detector enthusiasts hunting for Saxon gold in the same region, capture incredible footage of UFO’s whilst filming their expedition. As night falls and with their navigation equipment failing, they find themselves facing a terrifying encounter with an unforgiving alien presence.
Review: There is something about found footage films that makes my skin crawl… Especially when they are:
A: A clear rip-off from other films, and
B: When they are amateur in every way possible.
This found footage film falls into both the above categories.
The plot (if you want to call it that) is straight-forward. Three friends (2 guys and a girl) go treasure hunting in Rendlesham Forest, with their cam equipment and metal detectors. First night in they see “strange” lights in the sky, and the rest you can guess. Underground bunkers; Poorly done CGI alien ships; and Blair Witch shots aplenty.
Rather than give myself a migraine from explaining what happens (I think you all know anyway), I will just summarize the basics of this film:
Plot – Predictable and boring
Script – Poorly written
Acting – I’ve seen better….
SPX – Shockingly terrible
Film Quaility: Grainy and amateur at best
There is a reason why this film was rated so very low on IMDB. Even though I am somewhat of a believer that any filmy needs a fair go, this was – without a doubt – one of the worst I have seen yet.
Do yourself a favor and spare yourself from this one.
Verdict: Excruciatingly painful to watch
My Rating: -5 out of 10