Blog Archives
Unwillable: A Journey to Reclaim My Brain
Unwillable: A Journey to Reclaim My Brain
by Jackie M. Stebbins
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GENRE: Memoir
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BLURB:
“Jackie Stebbins’ UNWILLABLE is an inspiring story of a brilliant woman’s battle with autoimmune encephalitis and the circle of support–from loving family members to dedicated physicians–who helped guide her through a hard-won recovery. Her story is as moving as it is important and is destined to help so many others facing this condition.”
Susannah Cahalan author of NYT #1 Bestseller Brain on Fire
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EXCERPT
While my complete stay isn’t embedded in my memory, because of what the illness was doing to my brain, my time there will never be forgotten because of its place in my life’s story. That experience definitively marks where I’m right at the edge between a well-educated, successful, driven, independent, and thriving woman and an incapacitated person, powerless and relegated to the care of those around her, on the brink of brain damage or death without the intervention of the correct diagnosis. And a small part of me now believes I then understood that I was teetering on a life-altering and explosive line. But that same small part of me can’t say whether, for the first time in my life, I believed my situation to be unwillable. Perhaps my own will would not be enough.
I will always remember crawling into bed the first night, ragged with emotion, and the racing thoughts my mind was still able to conjure up. The questions pulsed through my silent tears. What the hell happened to me? . . . I cannot possibly belong here. I haven’t led a life that would lead me to this dysfunction. I was doing so well. . . . I’m the senior partner at my law firm. I’ve never before had a problem with mental health. . . . Why am I at rock bottom? How the hell did I end up in a psychiatric ward?
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AUTHOR Bio and Links:
Jackie M. Stebbins was living her dream as a nationally recognized family law, criminal defense, and civil litigator. But Stebbins’s career as a lawyer abruptly ended in May, 2018, when she was diagnosed with a rare brain illness, autoimmune encephalitis. Stebbins persevered to make a remarkable recovery and turned herself into an author and motivational speaker. Stebbins is the author of the JM Stebbins blog and host of the Brain Fever podcast. Stebbins’s side hustle includes raising three lovely children with her wonderful husband, Sean, in Bismarck, North Dakota, and in her leisure time she can be found reading, trying to be funny, and aqua jogging.
Buy Links:
Amazon: https://a.co/d/d89kann
Barnes & Noble: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/unwillable-jackie-m-stebbins/1141495526
Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/61125194
Social Media:
https://www.facebook.com/JackieMStebbins/
https://www.instagram.com/jmstebbs84/
https://www.linkedin.com/in/jackie-stebbins-725081173/
https://www.tiktok.com/@jmstebbs
Websites:
jmstebbins.com
jmstebbins.com/blog (Blog Link)
unwillable.com
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RAFFLECOPTER GIVEAWAY
Jackie M. Stebbins will be awarding a custom #StebbinsStrong t-shirt (US only) to a randomly drawn winner via rafflecopter during the tour.
Enter to win a custom t-shirt – a Rafflecopter giveaway
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Q & A With …
Tell us about you as a person.
I was born a feisty, argumentative, and independent little person. I grew into a feisty, argumentative, and independent trial lawyer. I had wonderful parents and grew up on a farm in a rural town in the small state of North Dakota. Beginning in fifth grade when I read my first John Grisham book, The Client, I wanted nothing more than to become a lawyer. I lived that dream for almost a decade before I fell ill with autoimmune encephalitis (AE). AE is a rare and devastating brain illness. It stole my career and nearly ended my life. With the help of family, friends, and my stubborn nature, I managed to survive the illness, recover from it, and rebuild my life as an author and motivational speaker. AE is the reason why I wrote my memoir, Unwillable.
If you could hang out with one famous person for one day, who would it be and why?
This is such an easy answer for me, it’s almost like a trick question. I would hang out with Elton John for the day. Beginning in college, I became an Elton John-super fan! I purchased all of his albums, listened to a lot of his music, bought his 60th birthday DVDs (after watching the show live on my laptop), went to concerts … I’ve seen him live four times and we fist bumped at a concert in my hometown of Bismarck, ND! I admire that he’s stayed relevant nearly his entire life. I love that people of all ages and walks of life love him and his music. I respect that he saw the error of his ways and cleaned up his life with sobriety, charity, and family. And I think he’s hilarious. He’s mentioned a few times in Unwillable. If only he knew …
What’s the story behind your latest book?
When I entered law school, I hardly knew a real-life lawyer, and I had no idea what to expect for those three years. I managed to be very successful, but I really could have benefitted from some information about what lay ahead for me those years and into practice. My next book that I’ve already begun working on, is part memoir and part guidebook about law school.
What advice do you have for other writers who want to get the word out about their latest book?
Be shameless and market all the time. No matter what you’re doing, you can work in your book. Make it fun. Create bookmarks and stickers to give away and have fun pens with your brand colors. Take and share lots of photos of your book and other swag. Ask anyone you’ve ever met to somehow feature you in their [store, ad, radio, television, news, magazine, etc.]. Be everywhere on social media, but most importantly, be yourself.
List 5 things on your bucket list.
I’ve never really had a bucket list, except that I wanted to meet Pres. Clinton and Elton John. I have met President Clinton, so I guess the only thing left is to meet Elton. I’d like to travel to Europe and live in New York City with my husband and children during one summer. After what I went through with AE, I don’t plan much in the future, but always look for the happiness of today.
Any final thoughts?
Please read and share Unwillable. Awareness of this illness is key. Psychiatrists need to know, counselors, psychologists, fireman, police officers, nurses, neurologists, and everyone! Eight out of ten people in the world haven’t heard of encephalitis. It can cause death and permanently impair lives. More awareness means (hopefully) quicker diagnoses and better treatment!
Marines Don’t Cry
Marines Don’t Cry
by Daniel Garcia and Jacqueline C. Garcia
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GENRE: Memoir, Non-fiction
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BLURB:
Have you ever been lost — really lost?
Danny and Jackie answer this question in Marines Don’t Cry with stories of death to life, deep sorrow to joy, darkness to light, and freedom in Christ.
Danny recounts his early life in Spanish Harlem and describes conversion from a life of drugs and “the fast lane” to one consumed with knowing and serving God. This makes his journey of walking more than 52 million steps on six continents for children and world peace such an incredible story.
Marines Don’t Cry is about the transformational power of God’s love: how Danny found his calling and is delivering the message of Christ at all costs.
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EXCERPT
Chapter 7: “You Must Choose Now”
One night in my living room, under the influence of several drugs and alcohol, I experienced something bizarre and frightening. Something happened to me, and I knew that something was terribly wrong. In a moment, I felt my spirit leaving my body; a wrenching separation and tearing from deep within. Life literally came out of my body. My feet lifted from the floor. I levitated upwards and felt myself being pulled out of this world. It was an out-of-body experience. I did not feel physical pain, but I knew I was dying. All my life, I had been in control and never let fear consume me. Now, I was terrified.
I panicked.
My thoughts raced. I knew that if I died, I would go to hell because of all the bad things I had done in my life. I learned in Catholic school that if I died in the state of mortal sin, I was destined for hell, a place of eternal fire and torment. Eternity flashed before me, and I heard an audible voice through time, space, and spirit say:
“Which way do you choose? Life or death? You must choose now.”
The voice enveloped my thoughts. In a flash, the Lord gave me a choice of life or death, and it was a choice of both physical and spiritual proportions. Although I had not been in church for over twenty-five years, I knew I was lost, had no hope, and was going to hell. I was completely petrified, and for the first time in my entire life, I was truly afraid and frightened beyond my understanding.
With a desperate cry, I screamed, “Jesus, save me!”
As soon as I said the name “Jesus,” my spirit immediately jumped back into my body. I experienced the terrible fear of God. To this point in my life, I paid no attention to the teachings that the Catholic church instilled in me. I had turned away from Him and disobeyed His laws.
By calling on the name of Jesus Christ, I chose life. I was saved spiritually; the moment of my salvation from death and beginning the transformation to a new life. This was a miracle. I was thirty-three years old—the same age as Jesus when he started his public ministry.
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AUTHOR Bio and Links:
About the authors of Marines Don’t Cry
Daniel Garcia
Danny Garcia, The Walking Man, was born and raised in New York’s Spanish Harlem. He served as a United States Marine, law enforcement officer, and ordained minister. Since 1996, he has prayed and walked over 52,000, 000 steps on six continents for children and world peace. During his journeys, Garcia met with dignitaries all over the world, ministering to the famous and to the poorest of the poor. Danny made presentations to Kings/royals, Presidents, and other world leaders, to include four Presidents of the USA, several Prime Ministers of other countries, the Pope, Mother Teresa, Ambassadors and various eminent personalities and multilateral organizations. Garcia began his journey as a personal commitment to peace and children and continued walking and raising funds for multiple charitable organizations.
Danny is married to the former Jacqueline Charsagua of El Paso, TX, and they work side by side to share the gospel of Jesus Christ. For more information, visit Danny’s website, http://www.globalwalk.cc.
Jackie Charsagua Garcia
Jackie Charsagua Garcia is married to Daniel Garcia. She graduated from the United States Air Force Academy in Colorado Springs, CO, in 1985 and was commissioned as a Second Lieutenant in the United States Air Force. Jackie holds a Bachelor of Science in Management and a Master of Science in Human Resources Management. While in the US Air Force, Jackie specialized in communications, acquisition, systems engineering, and information technology.
After a rewarding and fulfilling Air Force career, she retired as a Lieutenant Colonel in the summer of 2006, having spent more than 21 years on active duty. Since 2006, she has supported and advised on all aspects of her husband’s walks and charitable initiatives within the United States and abroad. She joined Danny during his Africa Walk in 2007 and ministered in South Africa, Uganda, Ethiopia, and Southern Sudan. During this time, her faith and reliance on God grew tremendously under the mentorship of Danny Garcia. The Global Walk experience gave Jackie an opportunity to serve God abroad, and her vision is to spread the hope, love, and the grace of Jesus Christ through her writing. She is a native of El Paso, TX, mother of one amazing daughter, and a breast cancer survivor.
Websites:
https://marinesdontcry.com
https://www.globalwalk.cc
Facebook:
https://www.facebook.com/dannygarciawalkingman/
https://www.facebook.com/groups/263639465513321
https://www.facebook.com/jackiecharsagua.garcia
Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/dannyg_walking man/
https://www.instagram.com/jackiecg_usafa85/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCIBYOx4vqntVWUtW8pnefqg/videos
YouTube link of an interview with Danny and Jackie for the Veterans History Project: https://youtu.be/tiJV0RdVmis
Linked In:
https://www.linkedin.com/in/jackie-c-garcia/
https://www.linkedin.com/company/global-walk-inc/
Buy links: Marines Don’t Cry (marinesdontcry.com)
BookFunnel: https://buy.bookfunnel.com/xq67q9237u
Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Marines-Dont-Cry-Delivering-Message/dp/163195640X/
Barnes & Noble: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/marines-dont-cry-danny-garcia/1139454637
Books-a-Million: https://www.booksamillion.com/p/Marines-Dont-Cry/Danny-Garcia/9781631956409
BookShop: https://bookshop.org/books/marines-don-t-cry-delivering-the-message-at-all-costs/9781631956409
IndieBound: https://www.indiebound.org/book/9781631956409
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RAFFLECOPTER GIVEAWAY
One randomly chosen winner via rafflecopter will win a $50 Amazon/BN.com gift card.
Ten randomly chosen winners via rafflecopter will win a free copy of the eBook.
Enter to win a $50 Amazon/BN GC or a copy of the book – a Rafflecopter giveaway
VBT – ALICE, A MEMOIR
Alice, a Memoir
by Alice Gilmore
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GENRE: Non-fiction
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BLURB:
Few, if anyone, could have had a life like Alice Gilmore. It was almost unbelievable yet carried on under the cover of a respectable middle-class existence.
You might strongly disapprove of what she did, but Alice was determined. She overcame insurmountable obstacles to keep the love she longed for.
Her single-minded fight to live out her love makes a gripping, riveting story that one eminent literary person called ‘staggeringly readable’. It is shocking. Her methods will upset some, but are you with her or against her? Your decision.
This is no misery memoir. It’s a story told with joy, wit and fervour – the astonishing story of the overwhelming love Alice Gilmour was determined to live out.
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EXCERPT
I am going to tell you our story, my darlings. It is really only for you three and one other (you know who) but I can’t help hoping that the world will read it, which is why I shall probably publish it. But not for some years. When you’re fully grown up and have flown the nest. God knows what they will make of it, the world I mean, whoever they are, but I am not suggesting that any rules or taboos should be changed by our story, or new rules made. Leave all that alone. Our story, perhaps I should say my story, just is. You could tritely call it the exception that proves the rule. Perhaps that is just what it is: unique. I doubt that but it is certainly extraordinary. I have carefully chosen those words. Any old event of yawning banality is called ‘amazing’, ‘fantastic’, ‘unbelievable’, ‘fabulous’ in our current jargon. Whatever else people may call my story it is certainly extraordinary.
It is, above all, a love story, an all-consuming love story, though I have never felt consumed by love, rather continually renewed. But isn’t that what love should do to you? Consume you and renew you constantly like the phoenix. And it brought with it another constant emotion: fear. And pain. The fear of pain. The fear of the pain of losing it, this wonderful state. The word love doesn’t fully express what I/we felt. Another word that is more or less totally debased.
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AUTHOR Bio and Links:
If you want to know about my life and background read this book. I can scarcely add to what I have written about myself in there. I earnestly hope that the rest of my life is too uneventful to even consider writing anything else, I am no novelist. The life I have described was full enough and rich enough for me. God knows what I would come out with if I had to invent. If you find you need a good chef I shall consider anything not too energetic – which rules out most jobs in the kitchen.
https://www.goodreads.com/user/show/100110001-alice-gilmore
https://www.facebook.com/alice.gilmore.92775
https://twitter.com/AlicetheWife1
https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/alice-a-memoir-alice-gilmore/1131732791
https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/940716
https://www.kobo.com/us/en/ebook/alice-a-memoir
https://www.amazon.com/Alice-Memoir-Gilmore-ebook/dp/B07S8HK65K/
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RAFFLECOPTER GIVEAWAY
One randomly chosen winner via rafflecopter will win a $50 Amazon/BN.com gift card.
Enter to win a $50 Amazon/BN GC – a Rafflecopter giveaway
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INTERVIEW
What are your favorite TV shows?
Good four to six episode thrillers or police dramas. Good documentaries about current events. Some quizzes.
What is your favorite meal?
I start with grilled whitebait; go on to liver, not done with bacon and too much juice in the English way but fegato con salvia as the Italians cook it. That is liver lightly grilled with sage and sauté potatoes. Afterwards blackberry and apple crumble with lashings of clotted cream.
If you were to write a series of novels, what would it be about?
It would have to be a family saga stretching through generations. That could encompass everything from love to war to adventure to business, religion, snobbery, treachery. It can all be in there.
Is there a writer you idolize? If so who?
Difficult to think of one but I love Kate Atkinson’s prose. She can pack so much subtle humour into one sentence she makes me squirm with delight and she just keeps doing it. I think William Boyd is the best novelist writing in UK English at the moment. If I look back, Jane Austen, of course, and George Eliot, Dickens and Evelyn Waugh but I have a very special place in my heart for PG Wodehouse. Just listen to him when read out loud by a good actor. Comedy heaven.
How did you come up for the title of this book?
Oh, don’t. My title, Alice, A Memoir, about as dull as you can get, is a compromise reached after the publisher and I had wracked our brains trying to think of something that was not a clue to the content of my story. I am the worst inventor of titles in the world, I think.
Spotlight – Misfits and Supermen
About the Author
Steve Starger is a journalist, author, and musician. His 2006 book, “Wally’s World: The Brilliant Life and Tragic Death of Wally Wood, the World’s Second-Best Comic-Book Artist,” was short-listed for the Will Eisner Industry Award for Best Comics Related Book of 2006.
His latest book is a memoir titled MISFITS AND SUPERMEN: TWO BROTHERS’ JOURNEY ALONG THE SPECTRUM.
Website: www.misfitsandsupermen.com.
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Steve-Starger-2222670174658438/
About the Book:
Title: MISFITS AND SUPERMEN: TWO BROTHERS’ JOURNEY ALONG THE SPECTRUM.
Author: Steve Starger
Publisher: Friesen Press
Pages: 178
Genre: Memoir
BOOK BLURB:
The bond of brotherhood is hard to break, but a lifetime of dealing with familial expectation, bitterness, and psychological disorders can bend and warp it into something nearly unrecognizable. This story tells the tale of two brothers: Melvyn, the elder, whose amalgamation of disorders leave him completely unable to function within society; and Stephen, the younger, whose own emotional and psychological issues are overshadowed to the point where he becomes little more than a pale and twisted reflection of his brother.
On different ends of the same spectrum, Melvyn is blissfully unaware of their troubling connection (or so his brother can only assume), but for Stephen, it is undeniable. He lives with it every day, sensing his own otherness in every twitch, outburst, and inability of his brother to overcome his inner demons. Left largely on his own to deal with his peculiarities-while carrying the burden of being “the normal one,” of whom much is expected- Stephen begins a complicated and unpredictable journey, one which will take him as far from his brother as he can manage to get, even as it brings them inexorably closer.
A portion of proceeds from this book will go toward the Camp Cuheca Scholarship – Melvyn D. Starger fund at Waterford Country School, Quaker Hill, CT., to help fund a two-week summer residency at the camp. For more information about Waterford Country School, please email development@waterforddcs.org.
“A finely crafted, affecting memoir of two brothers.”
— Kirkus Reviews
“If you want an honest book about life with mental illness in the family, this is it. Great writing. Brutally honest. Hard to put it down. Great stories about CT, NY and CA from the 1940s to 2000.”
–Amazon Reviewer
ORDER YOUR COPY:
Amazon
https://www.amazon.com/s?k=misfits+and+supermen&i=stripbooks&ref=nb_sb_noss_1
Barnes & Noble
https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/misfits+and+supermen/_/N-8q8?_requestid=1514906
Book Excerpt
On a clear, cool night early in the spring of 1967, I lay on a stone wall fronting Long Island Sound, waiting for the acid to come on. I was in the back yard of a mansion in Stamford, Connecticut, staring into the star-filled sky, listening to the small waves gurgling against the shoreline. My mind was serene, but I was nervous, as always when I took acid or some other psychedelic substance. The unpredictability of the drug both thrilled me and made me anxious. Where will I go? What will I see? What will happen? Will I survive? If I lose myself on this plane of existence, what will come next?
My expectation and anxiety were more intense than usual this night. I had dropped what I had been told was two-hundred-fifty micrograms of pure Sandoz LSD-25, the Holy Grail of psychedelics. Or something very much like it.
I had no idea who obtained this rare specimen of a heralded consciousness-altering substance or who manufactured it, but it showed up at the house where my band, NGC 4594, had camped to rehearse. The sprawling home was a prime example of a southern Connecticut Gold Coast mansion; it belonged to the family of our flute and mouth-harp player.
The tablet I had swallowed, about the size and color of an adult dose of aspirin, purportedly had the purity and power of LSD-25, the legendary psychedelic accidentally discovered at Sandoz Laboratories, in Basel, Switzerland, by a chemist named Albert Hoffman, in 1938. Dr. Hoffman’s cosmic experience was decades in the past, but this dose was supposed to be light-years beyond any acid I had previously taken.
The pitch that accompanied this acid could have been lifted from a used-car salesman’s book, but if the claim was correct, I was in for a journey to the center of consciousness, where “clear light” waited to bathe me in its cleansing glow. I had taken other “clean” acid trips, uncut with amphetamines to make the trip come on faster, and free of other additives favored by the street “acid men” to stretch their product for maximum profits.
As the acid slowly insinuated itself into my nervous system (one test of purity is the length of time it takes for uncut LSD to start working, about forty-five minutes to an hour), I felt the heightened combination of exhilaration and anxiety that signals the acid beginning to work its magic.
A gentle nudging began to assert itself at the edges of my consciousness. I gave myself over to the Sandoz simulacrum and let it take me where it would.
Over the course of what seemed like millennia, the acid took me far away, into the vast field of stars above me, and into the water, where I imprinted my image on the surface over and over, until I became an armada of insubstantial clones breaking on the shore. In a quick burst of rational thought, I thought, so, this is what the shouting is all about over Sandoz. Well … let it come down!
Inside the house, NGC was playing to a group of local day trippers who showed up every Friday night to get high and listen to us. We had moved into the mansion from Storrs, Connecticut a couple of months before and had become the latest attraction for the local sensation seekers.
As I lay wrapped in ecstasy in Stamford, my brother, Melvyn Starger, lay on his small bed in his small cell of a room on the opposite side of the state, at Norwich State Hospital. He too had taken drugs, ones very different from what I had consumed by choice. He was not given a choice in the matter; his drugs were prescribed and mandatory. His meds probably were benzodiazepines, psychoactive medications that produced sedative, hypnotic, anti-convulsive, and muscle relaxant effects. In other words, they were used to control patients’ behaviors, which could be explosive and unpredictable.
Someone meeting Melvyn for the first time would wonder why it was necessary to give him medicine designed to pacify him. He seemed so calm and diffident to most people. But he had a temper that could get way out of hand, and it could explode in seconds. He was too thin and under-muscled to do any physical damage to people, but he could be scary. He could yell at the top of his range for a long time.
I can’t presume to know where Melvyn’s mind went when he was on his meds. His inner workings had been a mystery to me and my parents for many years. I did my best to hold off thoughts of him as I peaked on the acid. Had I thought of him in this blissful state, I thought I would freak out (as we used to say). That would have been a shame, because this trip was one of a kind. Nothing should be allowed to ruin it. Not that I hadn’t thought of my brother over the years since we were kids, but there were times when it just wouldn’t have been fair to let reality intrude on my experience.
My efforts to keep my brother at bay have never worked. He was always there, ready and waiting—my constant Virgil on our travels together. He had appeared to me many times over the years, a stoop-shouldered wraith shambling through my thoughts, not so subtly reminding me that our bond would never be broken, least of all by changing locations and doing drugs.
Even in the middle of my cosmic dance on Long Island Sound, I occasionally felt the sorrow generated by my brother’s presence creep in, slowly and inexorably. This time, my altered perceptions absorbed Melvyn and his aura with barely a whimper. I didn’t panic; no ambulances had to be called. I simply rode the whirlwind to its conclusion: the good, the bad, and the ugly.
By then I had learned enough about how to guide myself through a psychedelic experience to understand that walking the Via Dolorosa (“the way of grief”) can be an important part of the experience. After all, the language we used to describe an acid trip or some other mind-altering experience employed such phrases as “ego death,” states of being one must travel through to reach the true center of consciousness, where the pain and suffering brought on by human folly melts into divine nothingness.
Our perceptions of the power of psychedelic drugs came from our readings of Buddhist philosophy and certain practices found in the Tibetan Book of the Dead, which had been appropriated by the Harvard psychedelic guru Timothy Leary for his own usages. In terms of getting high on psychedelics, it probably amounted to nonsense, but if that got us through bad experiences, what was the harm? In fact, the truest thing I had learned about acid, peyote, mescaline, magic mushrooms, and even things like lowly marijuana was how strong these substances were. One could believe anything behind their power to distort the senses and disrupt the orderly flow of one’s mind.
In my brother’s case, he walked the Via Dolorosa his entire life.
In some societies, my brother might have been revered as a holy man, treated with respect and deference. In our world, he was crazy. A looney-tune. A moron. No one in polite society called him those terrible names, of course, at least not in public. I called him those names, in private and in public.
Divorced from the rest of “normal” society by his multiplicity of psychiatric afflictions, my brother grew up inside his own life. It was not a life that anyone would have chosen, but it was his, thrust on him by nature. His world was rigidly self-contained. He was the only permanent resident. He could relate to the “outside” when he chose to, but those were rare moments. My parents and I had to do the work required to enter his world. It was a hard, frustrating task, but there were occasional payoffs, if one worked hard enough. Small flickers of light would dance in his eyes on those rare moments when he was able or willing to enter the world of the others—our world.
This brief description of my perception of Melvyn’s affect and demeanor may remind some of the classic symptoms of autism, or as the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-IV) terms it, “Autistic Disorder.” The DSM’s list of symptoms includes: Marked lack of awareness of the existence or feelings of others; no or abnormal seeking of comfort at times of distress; no or impaired imitation (e.g., does not wave bye-bye, does not copy mother’s domestic activities, mechanical imitation of others’ actions out of context); no or abnormal social play; and gross impairment in ability to make peer friendships.
Melvyn did display some or all of these manifestations at various times throughout his life, sometimes all of them at once. The diagnosis of autism was not generally heard during the time of Melvyn’s development, and even if it had been, the tagging of Melvyn as autistic, or “on the spectrum,” may not have made a difference in my parents’ comprehension of their son’s many aberrant behaviors. In retrospect, the gap that existed between Melvyn and the rest of the world would surely have remained—in fact, did remain—for his entire life.
But Melvyn did not live in a vacuum, despite all of the obstacles that separated us. Melvyn—the fact of Melvyn—exerted a profound influence on everyone who came into his world. My parents struggled for their entire marriage under the weight of Melvyn’s conditions.
Some families, when faced with crippling mental disabilities in a family member, bond together and face their futures in some kind of harmony. Other families fall apart, unable to face the fact of a terrible intruder in their midst. My family went the latter route.
When Melvyn’s strangeness could no longer be ignored or explained away, my parents’ reactions took very different forms. Over the long term, my father grew more distant and depressed, and he began to blame my mother more and more for Melvyn’s problems. My mother adopted the pose of a martyr, taking verbal abuse from my father that increased with passing years. My mother became “Long-Suffering Elsie” in the eyes of friends and family. The perception wasn’t entirely fair. She could still laugh and socialize and have fun playing the piano, but there was no doubt that something deep and sad had possessed her. One can argue that we all affect each other simply by being in each other’s lives, but living so closely with someone of Melvyn’s uniqueness takes that rather obvious observation to a very different place.
As Melvyn’s wrongness became more and more pronounced, my parents turned their gazes on him and never looked away. My developing antisocial behavior and rock-bottom self-image took a backseat to Melvyn’s much bigger problems. My parents missed the danger signs in my young life early on. Their concentration on Melvyn bored like drilling tools into Melvyn’s being, as if my parents could mine information from him about his strangeness. They watched in mounting horror as he transformed from a seemingly normal child into an alien creature lurching toward entropy. They reacted to the early years of Melvyn’s thwarted development with shock, disbelief, denial, increasing pain, depression, and cruelty.
The fact that it took years for Melvyn’s first symptoms of psychiatric disorder to appear—holding out hope for my parents where none really existed—exacerbated a situation that eventually flowered into a force that destroyed the fabric of my family.
This may sound like melodrama, but I watched it happen. My mother, refusing to believe the evidence of her eyes, would swear at times that Melvyn was reading full sentences when he was 2 years old, which proved to her that what was clearly happening to him was beyond her comprehension. She was indulging in magical thinking to save her own sanity.
Spotlight – My Last Baggage Call
About the Author
Sergeant First Class Glenn W. Powell (Retired) is a native of Toledo, Ohio. He enlisted into the United States Army in 1982 and retired in 2002. During his military career, he served as a heavy vehicle driver, a squad leader, and non-commissioned officer.
In September 1991, SFC Powell joined the George HW Bush White House as a chauffeur, and in 1992, was promoted to transportation coordinator for the white house Press Corps, serving in the Clinton Administration.
In December 1995, he assumed the duties of transportation supervisor for Air Force One.
In January 2001, during his service under President George W. Bush, SFC Powell was transferred to the White House Military Office, Customer Support and Organizational Development where he served as deputy director.
SFC Powell retired with distinction from the Military in 2002. He received numerous awards and decorations throughout his service, including the Legion of Merit Metal, Meritorious Service Medal, the Joint Service Achievement Medal, and the United States Army Achievement Medal with four oak leaf clusters. He received U.S. Service Ribbons for both domestic and overseas service.
Glenn and Ronda Holloway Powell have been married for 25 years, and have three sons, Darius, Warren, and Glenn, II. They reside in Virginia.
His latest book is My Last Baggage Call Aboard Air Force One: A Journey of Sacrifice, Service, Family and Friendship.
For more information, or to contact Glenn Powell regarding availability for speaking opportunities, please email him at glennwpowell@aol.com. Visit his website at: http://www.gwpowell.com
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About the Book:
Title: MY LAST BAGGAGE CALL ABOARD AIR FORCE ONE
Author: Glenn W. Powell
Publisher: Independent
Pages: 226
Genre: Memoir
BOOK BLURB:
This exciting memoir chronicles the life and memories of SFC Glenn Powell, a 20-year veteran of the U.S. Army, and 10-year veteran of the White House where he served under Presidents George HW Bush, President William J. Clinton, and President George W. Bush.
SFC Powell was born and raised in Toledo, Ohio. He says his real-life journey began in 1982 when he bypassed his high school graduation to join the U.S. Army. That journey would take him from Fort Dix, New Jersey, to Manheim, Germany where he met Ronda Holloway, a young, beautiful soldier and fellow Ohioan, who has been his wife and soulmate for 25 years.
Powell’s poignant and inspiring story includes both, his own memories, and memories from some 50 white house colleagues, family members and lifelong military buddies who enriched his life, and made an indelible impact on his journey. SFC Powell’s story is that of a restless young man who grew up in a working-class environment with ample opportunities to journey down the wrong path. Yet, thanks to his childhood village –the many role models whose lives exemplified the best in American values—made all the difference in his journey.
Except for that “village,” of his childhood, Glenn believes his story might have had a different ending. The hardworking citizens living purpose-filled lives, served as a buffer against the discontent and civil unrest plaguing the rest of world. The centerpiece of that village, Glenn says, was his parents who, while they never lived under one roof, both loved him unconditionally.
Margaret Powell was a young single working mother, and a constant reminder of the importance of working toward excellence at one’s chosen career. She would become Kroger Stores’ first African American manager. His father, a prominent entrepreneur in the Toledo area, would remain a constant in Glenn’s life until the end.
Glenn says these lessons sustained him throughout his journey – from the pampered child, to the responsible teen, to the ambitious young soldier, to the doting husband and father; and the loyal and “never say never” Sergeant and aide to the President of the United States of America.
“My Last Baggage Call Aboard AF1” chronicles a most amazing journey that magically transformed Glenn Powell’s life, and so richly impacted those who knew him.
Glenn W. Powell was a featured speaker on The Christian Authors on Tour TV Show. Hosted by Leroy Mckenzie Jr. and Lynn Pinder. Watch the CAOT TV replay of the interview: https://youtu.be/1OfUReG_VAk
Purchase My Last Baggage Call Aboard Air Force One by Glenn W. Powell
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Book Excerpt
A Soldier’s Story
Shortly after I turned 18, I enlisted in the army. Around that time, I learned that the young woman I’d been dating was pregnant, so going into the army would be an opportunity to provide for my child. The army sent me to Fort Dix in New Jersey for boot camp training on April 22, 1982. It was the perfect enlistment site for me.
Because of the popular television show, Dallas, I had in mind that I wanted to go to Fort Hood, Texas and meet JR Ewing. Not only did I meet Larry Hagman, the actor who played JR, but I also met the entire cast at one of the big Dallas malls. That was in the 80s when the networks spent money to have cast members show up to greet their fans, and when fans could easily get a photo with the stars. Meeting JR had been on my mental bucket list. Later I learned that “Klinger” from Mash and Danny Thomas were both from Toledo, and so I added them to the list.
In 1983, I re-enlisted and chose Hawaii as my next army stint. There for 18 months, I’m convinced that the Hawaii move helped me look long and hard at myself and my future. In Hawaii, I decided I needed to better myself. I enrolled at the Wahiawa Community School for Adults and got my high school diploma. My mother was so disappointed when I didn’t graduate from high school, so I did it as much for her as for myself.
My long transportation management career began in Wahiawa. I was one of a large number of applicants who applied for a temporary mission of driving for the Sergeant Major for the division. He was the senior enlisted man at the post. I beat out the other candidates for that position. Later, I drove for the one-star general at the post. After that, I returned to my unit and worked as the battalion mail clerk until he left in 1985. While there, I met friends and mentors who would help me decide on my career journey. That same year, I was asked to re-enlist, and First Sergeant Herbert Harris became a lifelong mentor and friend. Sergeant Harris recommended that I choose Fort Eustis in Newport News, Virginia for my re-enlistment. I remained at Fort Eustis from April 1985 until January 1988.
I became a squad leader, and for the next six months, I managed a squad of truck drivers in and around the base. After that, I was set on transportation becoming my specialty, but my career trajectory changed some when I was appointed to head up NCO Training, where I was responsible for the training of 270 soldiers.
Around this time, I met First Sergeant Fletcher Walker. He was sent in to straighten out our company, and he did just that. He would stand up at the top of the stairs with his hat covering his eyes, but looking down at us. Sergeant Walker was a ‘soldier among soldiers,’ an airborne paratrooper, a Vietnam Veteran who had been shot three times. There was no one more surprised when he chose me to run the training.
I knew he had high expectations, and I was determined not to disappoint him. He was the kind of leaders for whom soldiers would fight and die. He was a true hero who taught me how to be a soldier and a man. He shared a lot about life with me. I imitated him in many ways so much that everyone would call me “Baby Walker.” I met his family and it was an honor. He retired as a Command Sergeant Major.
VBT – SMUGGLER
Smuggler
by Nicholas Fillmore
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GENRE: Memoir/True Crime
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BLURB:
When twenty-something post-grad Nick Fillmore discovers the zine he’s been recruited to edit is a front for drug profits, he begins a dangerous flirtation with an international heroin smuggling operation and in a matter of months finds himself on a fast ride he doesn’t know how to get off of.
After a bag goes missing in an airport transit lounge he is summoned to West Africa to take a voodoo oath with Nigerian mafia. Bound to drug boss Alhaji, he returns to Europe to put the job right, but in Chicago O’Hare customs agents “blitz” the plane and a courier is arrested.
Thus begins a harried yearlong effort to elude the Feds, prison and a looming existential dead end…. Smuggler relates the real events behind OITNB.
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Excerpt:
At the other end of the terminal was another set of steel doors—simple double doors leading right out to the street, daylight and fresh air strobing through each time someone exited; cabs lined up and waiting, freedom lingering out there.
I hoisted my bag over my shoulder, bypassing the baggage carousels where a cop was walking around with a dog, and headed towards the doors. A single Customs Agent was perched on a stool to the far right, reading a magazine. As I got about a third of the way there, he seemed to stir. I changed direction ever so slightly.
He roused himself. A small group was moving toward him from the right, but he seemed to ignore them.
I looked out the corner of my eyes for someone, anyone I could fall in behind, but everyone seemed blissfully out of reach—and I imagined this is what it must feel like to drown: to take one last desperate look at help swimming strongly away.
Then the agent sauntered ever so slowly out into the middle of the room. My heart raced. Then he looked up. I saw it coming, could feel it coming. Oblivious to the rest of the herd, he’d singled me out; and for a second I felt I might just swoon right there. Then some sort of instinct kicked in. I resigned myself to being questioned and headed right at him.
For some seconds he hung back as I did my best to play the part of the unassuming traveler.
“Where are you coming from, sir?” he asked, at an angle.
“Paris,” I said.
“Can I see your ticket?”
I handed him my ticket.
“How long were you in Paris?”
“A week.”
“What were you doing there?”
“Business.”
“What kind of business.”
“Magazine. Publishing.”
“What magazine?”
And here I faltered. Nun Civa Orcus. What the hell was that? My mind raced for all sorts of explanations. For a second I considered making something up. But that would only mean trouble. You tend to say stupid things when you veer from the script like that. Someone might ask your name, for instance, and under duress you might say Peter Rabbit or Dick Nixon, who the hell knew? Had he detected my hesitation? I had to speak.
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AUTHOR Bio and Links:
Nicholas Fillmore attended the graduate writing program at University of New Hampshire. He was a finalist for the Juniper Prize in poetry and co-founded and published SQUiD magazine in Provincetown, MA. He is currently at work on Sins of Our Fathers, a family romance and works as a reporter and lecturer in English. He lives on windward Oahu with his wife, his daughter and three dogs.
Author website: http://www.nicholasfillmore.com
Publisher Website http://www.iambicbooks.com
https://www.facebook.com/Nicholas.Fillmore.10/
https://twitter.com/nicholasfillmor
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RAFFLECOPTER GIVEAWAY
Nicholas Fillmore will be awarding a $10 Amazon/BN GC to a randomly drawn winner via rafflecopter during the tour.
Enter to win a $10 Amazon/BN GC – a Rafflecopter giveaway
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Interview With …
Tell us about you as a person.
I should have stayed on the farm, so to speak. My parents are nice, small-town people. And I’m really a simple, shy person at heart, given to daydreaming and writing poetry. But life comes at you and you grow up.
If you could hang out with one famous person for one day, who would it be and why?
I have to say it would be Jesus. Running around Palestine denouncing the scribes and Pharisees, and preaching to the multitudes whilst the political powers of the ancient world hang like dark clouds in the offing—this is my idea of a good time.
What’s the story behind your latest book?
As memoir that’s pretty straight forward. I got hooked into this heroin smuggling conspiracy—part out of boredom, part out of greed, part out of a desire for adventure and part out of a desire to take a burden upon myself (to write about.)
What is your writing process?
Usually I write late at night. I might listen to music or not, but not with lyrics, which counts out most pop music. I can’t write while someone else is talking. Otherwise, as far as “process” I’m pretty recursive, which is a leftover poetry habit and a problem; when you’ve gone over a sentence or paragraph or chapter so many times with an eye toward its inner coherence, it can become a little insular. Writing Smuggler I learned that sometimes you need to let up on the verbosity so that when you do want to write from some elevated state it shows up. Of course later on you can obsessively pour over every phrase and comma.
If your book was to be turned into a movie, who would play the lead role and why.
I’m not quite up on the young film stars. A young Tim Roth?
What are you working on next?
It’s called Sins of Our Fathers, an attempt to reimagine family incidents over several generations that inform the family’s fortunes, such as they are.
What is your favorite book on your shelf right now?
Raymond Chandler, The Long Goodbye.
You are given the choice of one super power. What super power would you have and why?
I would say ESP which has its obvious benefits. The implications for being a writer are interesting. It seems there would be little room for the imagination, though you could do staggering historical works.
List 5 things on your bucket list:
- Finish next novel.
- Move to Paris.
- Write another novel.
- Get daughter into college.
- Write another novel.
Where can readers find you on the web?
VBT – My Wonderful Wobbly Life
My Wonderful Wobbly Life
by Charles Irwin
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GENRE: Memoir (Autobiography)
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BLURB:
Having survived quite a few birthdays and had some interesting experiences, I wrote them down. That’s how “My Wonderful Wobbly Life” was conceived. It was nearly born in 2004, but decided to hang on until 2018 to become ‘Born again‘ Alleluia!!!!
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EXCERPT
Chapter 1 – SURVIVAL
“I’ve changed my mind! I’ve changed my mind! I don’twant to go.”
I have a vague memory of making this cry from a railway carriage as I was stolen from my parents by authoritarians.
I was five years old when the authorities decreed I had to be placed in a home for children. Their decision was final and all avenues of appeal against it were exhausted when my father, to soften the blow of parting, talked me into what he described as an adventure.
It was not until the train began to move and the realisation came I was leaving my parents forever, that I made my plaintive cry:
“I’ve changed my mind!”
When I arrived at the home my world changed, never to be the same again. My loving mother and my fun-filled father were gone and in their place were grown-ups I did not know. I did not understand what was going on. There were lots of crippled children, but why was I there with them? Okay, I couldn’t walk very far without falling over. I shook uncontrollably most of the time for no apparent reason. I couldn’t speak very clearly. But, I’d been like this all my life, for me it was normal. So, what was I doing here? “
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AUTHOR Bio and Links
Charles was born in London U.K. in 1932. During his birth the forceps slipped, resulting in brain damage to the motor control nerves of his right side and causing total body spasticity. However, his intellect was not damaged. Throughout his life the two adversaries, controllable brain and semi-controllable body, always needed to be balanced. After several years of work and study he became a Chartered Production Engineer. In 1971 he emigrated to Australia and became a senior examiner in the Australian Patent office. This autobiography illustrates the rhyme: “He started to sing as he tackled the thing, That couldn’t be done – but he DID IT!” Charles chronicles his journey from useless to useful, with humour and joie de vie. He pays tribute to friends who only gave him help when it was asked for. At a young age he recognized his psychic abilities and, by using lessons at the end of each chapter, shares some insights with readers
Buy Link: BOOK IS ON SALE FOR $0.99 DURING THE TOUR
Amazon https://www.amazon.com/My-Wonderful-Wobbly-Life-Autobiography-ebook/dp/B077PF88CT/ref=sr_1_1
BN: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/my-wonderful-wobbly-life-charles-irwin/1127552673
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RAFFLECOPTER GIVEAWAY
One randomly chosen winner via rafflecopter will win a $50 Amazon/BN.com gift card.
Enter to win a $50 Amazon/BN GC – a Rafflecopter giveaway
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INTERVIEW
If you could apologize to someone in your past, who would it be?
There is no point in apologizing in retrospect, because the incident that took place does not have the same significance now time has washed over it. Ergo, there is no-one to be given an apology.
If you could keep a mythical/ paranormal creature as a pet, what would you have?
Pegasus the winged horse. Then I could invent and indulge in a new hobby of ‘Drone Round-up!’
How do you keep your writing different from all the others that write in this particular genre?
That is easy to answer. I don’t let them live my life for me.
What are the best and worst pieces of writing advice you ever received?
I cannot recall ever having been given any advice about writing in general. Any advice I have been given has usually concerned specific points being presented in an article I was writing. However, since publishing my book and trying to write another, I have been given a platinum piece of advice. Which I share with you, “Write like a Reader!”
Are the experiences in this book based on someone you know, or events in your own life?
The title of my book being “My Wonderful Wobbly Life,” gives a big clue to the answer of this question. It is a memoir of my life, outlining the trials and tribulations of coming to terms with being disabled in an abled world. The problems of getting an education, finding and keeping employment, being accepted in society and by the opposite sex were difficult to overcome. ‘The rows were hard to hoe, but the plant of life grew to maturity.’
VBT – Room for Grace
About the Authors
Daniel Kenner rocked out to Bob Dylan’s “Knockin’ On Heaven’s Door” while other infants sang “Mary Had A Little Lamb.” A proud member of Actor’s Equity, SAG-AFTRA, and National Players Tour 60, Daniel was a Presidential Arts Scholar at George Washington University and Scholarship recipient at The British American Drama Academy. Directed the Washington D.C. premier of Sarah Kane’s Crave. Author of the manuscript, Roux. Winner of the Rhode Island Playwriting Festival for his World War II letters home drama, Fields of Sacrifice. Adapted Les Misérables for high school stages.
Maureen Kenner’s heart was in the classroom. For thirty-five years she was a Special Education teacher in the Providence Public Schools. Born and raised in Dobbs Ferry, New York, Maureen graduated from Rhode Island College with a degree in education and later earned a Master’s Degree from Providence College. Maureen was a vital influence at the Vartan Gregorian Elementary School at Fox Point, working tirelessly as a mentor for the betterment of all children and their families. Honored with many accolades throughout her career, Maureen was awarded Providence Teacher of the Year in 2003. Living with cancer, as a model patient, Maureen exemplified integrity, courage, grace, and hope. For thirty-one years, through sickness and health, Maureen was the beloved soul mate to the late Jacob “Buddy” Kenner, her intense love recognized in 2016 as a Rhode Island Caregiver of the Year.
WEBSITE & SOCIAL LINKS:
WEBSITE | TWITTER | FACEBOOK
About the Book:
Title: ROOM FOR GRACE
Author: Daniel Kenner & Maureen Kenner
Publisher: Silver Boot Imprints
Pages: 200
Genre: Memoir & Biography
BOOK BLURB:
Stage 4 cancer for her and a debilitating disease for her husband: life crashed down in an instant. Maureen Kenner found resilience, however, in the lessons she learned from her Special Ed students in Providence, RI. Her students lived with their hearts opened despite struggles of the highest magnitude. Through these students, Maureen gains courage, humor, and the strength of spirit to face her devastating realities, head on. Maureen’s oral history was captured by her son Daniel who tenderly wrought this book out of their recorded conversations. Through anecdotes and hard-earned lessons, Maureen tackles challenge after challenge and reframes daily struggles with a positive outlook allowing her to transcend and conquer mortal fears with dignity and room for grace.
PRAISE:
“Maureen Kenner was one of those people who brightened every room she entered. Thanks to Room for Grace, that light is not extinguished. Although her story shares great sadness, Room for Grace is a book of hope and a celebration of life that sheds Maureen’s light on us all.” — Ann Hood, Author of The Obituary Writer and The Red Thread
“In these pages, you will find a story like no other. Maureen’s story is one of courage and love, a story that will move you to your core.” — David Flink, Chief Empowerment Officer, Eye to Eye
“The piercing light of Maureen’s compassion, love and intelligence, will leave every reader wanting to reach out in the spirit of service and live life to the fullest.” — Annie Lanzillotto, Author of Hard Candy: Caregiving, Mourning, and Stagelight
“Buddy Kenner was a big-hearted teacher, universally beloved by all, a warrior for the arts and their importance in the curriculum. Amazing and unique guy. Read this book.” — Tom Chandler, Rhode Island Poet Laureate Emeritus
ORDER YOUR COPY:
Amazon
Book Excerpt:
STAGE 4
Mary Poppins was my nurse on Day 6. “Pretend you’re at summer camp,” she joked, encouraging every step I made toward healing and recovery. “We’ve got a whole bunch of activities for you to choose from.”
“But instead of Newcomb and color wars and collecting orange salamanders or dancing to Tommy James and the Shondells,” I said, “today’s activities at the hospital include pain med management, ice chip crunching, and Dammit! Doll whacking…”
“Don’t forget IV pole walking,” she teased. “I always know when you’re coming because your IV pole is the squeakiest.” She tenderly guided me back into bed.
“But instead of early morning skinny dipping,” I said, “someone signed me up for the johnny gown flash mob.”
That really made her laugh. “I wish all my patients worked like you.”
“Well, you help make it easy,” I admitted. “I loved sleepaway camp. I’d pack my trunk with stamped stationary and Razzles, pick-up sticks and jacks. And my Magic 8-Ball. My bunkmates and I thought we could predict the future. Go figure. I could never have predicted this.” She wrapped a warm blanket around my feet. “One year,” I continued, “I was the last camper to be picked up and, on the way home, my sisters teased me that my parents wanted to leave me there.”
“That’s one of the reasons I love my job here,” she smiled. “The staff is a family. We’re planning a barbecue together this weekend.”
It was August 2013.
Dr. David Sanfred, our family practitioner, walked into my room at 6:45 a.m. and stood at the end of my hospital bed. “Maureen, we’re getting ready to send you home soon,” he said. And then, “It’s time to talk.”
It was time to face what I’d avoided all week.
“I’m sorry to tell you, but it’s very serious.” Though by our family’s side for many difficult situations, I’d never heard Dr. Sanfred’s tone this methodical. “We thought it was Stage 1 but the cancer metastasized from the colon to your umbilicus and has advanced to Stage 4.”
The hospital symphony went silent. I turned my head and watched the early morning sunlight peek through the window. “Is it curable?”
He gave my hand a soft pat. “No, it is not curable.”
I heard myself gasp.
I was in a panorama shot. I saw Mary Poppins outside the thin curtain share morning notes with the nurse coming on. They whispered, glanced sympathetically in my direction. I struggled for breath and gripped the Dammit! Doll.
“Will I be able to go back to my classroom?”
“No,” he cautioned, “you will not be able to teach right now. But soon. We hope.”
The tears kept coming. Mary Poppins came back into the room. She reached out and hugged me gently, with so much affection I could feel her heart break.
C.A. Milson 